My eyes complete a three-hundred-sixty-degree sweep of my surroundings. There is beauty in every direction. The horizon reveals endless water and on the other side, a strip of sand stands guard as the water inches its way toward it. Green vegetation rises among the dunes while woven bits of color provide a feast for the eyes. A sweet breeze cools my hot sun-kissed shoulders and words of gratitude fall easily from my lips.
Days like this feel easy. Breathing comes naturally and anxious thoughts feel like a distant memory. I choke up at the gifts laid before me on this day. God’s gracious heart seems like more than I deserve. And in that moment I go “there” in my mind. The thought of why I am undeserving of abundant love, grace, and hope.
I wish I could tell you that every morning when I wake up, I begin the day with gratitude. That as I stretch, yawn, and unroll the kinks from my body, I see nothing but the goodness of God within my reach. Instead, some days I remember my losses, what ifs, and how I didn’t perform the task as well as I could have believed in the ode to perfection. My mind shuffles away from giving thanks and becomes cluttered with everything else.
It’s easy to allow the remnants of loss to fill the space where gratitude should reign. The physical loss of loved ones, a son or daughter who has left the fold, a job that is no longer yours, or dreams that were within reach and then drifted away. There are days I wake up and reevaluate over and over why the task wasn’t completed or how I could have done it better. My mind becomes a minefield of could have, would have, and should have and if I don’t tread lightly, it will all blow up in my face.
It's easy to allow the remnants of loss to fill the space where gratitude should reign, but that's not the end of the story. #gratitude #thedentedfender @thedentedfender Click To TweetAnd this is why gratitude isn’t always easy, but it’s not the end of the story. Join me at The Dented Fender to read the rest.
Sabbath Blessings,
Very true, Mary, and the enemy of our souls would have it so and then keep us mired in it or cause us to feel guilty because we aren’t where we know or believe we “should” be. Loss is difficult and can be a dangerous journey where we can get bogged down or lost to the hope we know exists and feel on better days.
I am forever grateful for a loving patient Father who can handle my lament and loves me despite an attitude that doesn’t recognize of acknowledge the goodness of His heart to me.
Your words help me as I continue to look for gratitude daily. I agree that loss comes and can steal our hope. It’s a slippery slope that the enemy tries to get us on. I am standing in gratitude with you for a faithful and loving Father. Blessings!