For the last year, my life has been a series of events of letting go. As I add up all that has led me to today, I am amazed that I literally have not left the room kicking and screaming.
I retired after thirty years of teaching. My younger son moved back home with his dog and then said “goodbye” when he got married sixth months later. My dad moved to assisted living and ended up in the hospital a week later with pneumonia. He bounced back from that and two months later broke his hip. His journey in rehab and therapy still continues. My older son is getting married in September. Finally, my younger son and wife are moving farther away and will be traveling half of the year. Whew! Life events such as the ones I listed, began my pondering of “what is letting go?”
The best definition I can come up with for “letting go” is when a piece of you that you have always depended on breaks away to stand on its own. Life as you know it looks different and has changed for good or bad. The familiar needs to be re-created because nothing has changed but everything has changed.
My gut reaction to letting go is a little kicking and screaming. Why me? Why now? I don’t want things to change. HELP!!! After the initial rant wears off, I know that letting go is part of God’s amazing story for me and it will be good. It’s not for the faint of heart and it requires brave steps as well as a loosening of the tight, knuckle grip I keep on my life.
As my journey of letting go continues, I am learning that life is a series of moments of letting go. It begins as a child, continues into adolescence and makes its way through adulthood. What looked to me like a rather new occurrence in my life is instead an ongoing journey of embracing the new, accepting change and leaning into God every step of the way.
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We can look at this journey as a blessing and part of the story God created for us. We can embrace the new without kicking and screaming (or maybe just a little bit 🙂 ). Life can move forward into the newness God entrusts us with or we can put on the brakes because we think we know better. The choice is always ours to make, but the outcome is God’s beautiful gift to us when we choose to step out into faith.
I invite you to join me these next few weeks to dig into what letting go looks like in your own life and in mine. I know I always do better when I have friends along who can support me along the way. You too???
I will be looking at the process of how letting go is a normal part of moving forward. How letting go involves soul searching, heart wrenching, life drenching events and choices. And how the process of letting go is the gift of molding and shaping us into who God has planned for us to be.
Just out of curiosity, will you take a minute and share in the comments a time in your life where you had to let go of something and how you handled it as well as how it felt???
Take a minute and soak in these verses from Ecclesiastes. I pray they speak to you of hope and affirmation that God’s plan is always the best.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
The words continue to speak into the choices we make but the also to the God who wrote our stories.
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and 10-11
Holding on tight as I learn to let go in faith!
Linking up with these beautiful ladies!
and Dawn for Grace Moments
This is so true, Mary! Life’s journey is a series of letting go and few of us handle it well! I don’t know many who like change, even though it is a constant and necessary truth in our lives. When in the midst of the letting go we forget that upon releasing whatever that thing happens to be our hands are left open to receive the next thing that God has to give us. Moving wasn’t on our radar, yet here I sit surrounded by boxes. Memories packed away as we enter another season of our lives. There is a big bend in the road and we are only seeing a very small part of what lies ahead. But God is there, before us, preparing the way. And He is here with us, guiding us along the path. Praying that your strength and faith will grow as you learn to let go, my friend. Blessings!
Your beautiful words always soothe and strengthen me in my journey. I appreciate your wisdom and way you always point back to God in all.
I didn’t know you were moving and I pray that the next phase is one of beauty and peace. Are you moving far? Any closer to me?? 😉 Blessings along the way friend!
Closer to you would be nice! I need a walking buddy 😉 We’re actually going to be RVing for awhile and then return home to build a house on another part of our property since we’re giving the cottage (that we’re in now) to our son. Lot’s of changes – good changes, but they’ll take some adjustment, and yes, a bit of letting go 🙂
Hmmm! The adventure sounds exciting. I pray that this time of RVing teaches you flexibility, patience and brings you peace. It sounds like this transition is a time of letting go for you. Changes lead to new beginnings so I imagine you will find God in the change and it will be good. Thank you for sharing your next step. Can’t wait to hear about it.
Mary it seems we never stop letting go so this is a perfect series to be visiting. I let go after 43 years with the Government and I remember letting go as our two adult kids got married, and then losing my Mom recently and also a number of grand babies who didn’t make it to be born. Lots of pain, lots of joy as we let go.
I am glad you shared a piece of your story. Your understanding heart does this girl good! 🙂 The pain is easy to focus on in this letting go journey but I see the amazing gifts that are just on the other side. Thank you for your vulnerability and blessing of joining in the conversation.
You know I can relate to your fears of “letting go,” Mary! I feel like that’s all God has been asking me to do lately! Ugh! But it’s a good feeling once I get past the kicking and screaming part! ha! It really is a good to be in a surrendered place. Thanks for your honesty and challenge on this. Changes are comin’ our way, girlfriend, so we better let God lead us instead of dragging our feet the entire way!
I know you are walking this journey with me right now. It makes me stronger to know that I am not learning how to let go alone. Changes are a common’ for both of us and as beautiful as it will be there ids a little sense of loss that goes with the journey. Praying we grow stronger together as we let go, let God and move forward. Love you friend!
You are right, Mary. Letting go has been happening all our lives. I think we really feel it, though, when it becomes letting go of the people we love the most. My husband and I have two wonderful children. They grew into great teenagers. Our son went to college first. Our daughter and I had always been inseparable. Beth used to tease me that the umbilical cord was still attached. The year Beth graduated, I decided it was time to “let go” of the safe, Christian school job I had and trust God to put me where He wanted me. Beth was all signed up to start college 20 minutes from our home. Then God called her to missions and she moved to Texas. The umbilical cord was SEVERED. I was kicking and screaming and lost. I found a teacher’s aide position. Our daughter was gone for 3 1/2 years, and she and I had to learn how to depend on God to breathe and live. Our son eventually married, and I had to let go of him, too. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and went into a nursing home. I am still learning how to let go of her. I can tell you this: I cannot do this “letting go” alone. God holds my hand. He holds me. He provides family and friends to hold me up many days. This is how I let go…..
When I read your comment I cried because I know your heart so well. Letting go is a journey that is not meant to be done alone. I am also thankful for family and friends who walk alongside me and provide the strength I need to keep moving forward. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart and the process you go through to let go. The journey is better because of you friend!
Thank you for visiting my Tell His Story article about finally finding contentment where I live and for taking the time to leave a comment.
I can relate to what you are talking about here. Letting go has not been easy for me. Last October, my daughter got married and moved out of our house. (She lives about 30 minutes away.) Even though I adore my son-in-law, I was an emotional wreck for months. Letting go of my daughter was agonizingly difficult. We are best friends and partners in crime, and the realization that I had to let her go and allow her husband to be her#1 person nearly killed me. But I found that what we have now is equally beautiful. I blogged about it last week. https://pattiamg03.blogspot.com/2016/07/still-very-beautiful.html
Blessings,
Patti @ Embracing Home
It is such a pleasure watching our kids grow up. On the other hand, as they spread their wings that means we need to let them fly. It is not easy and as close as you are with your daughter, I am also that close with my sons. The emotional roller coaster is real in this stage of life. I guess we are on the coaster together. Thank you for understanding where I am coming from and sharing your own personal story. I am glad to hear you have found a beautiful ew normal with your daughter.
I just know that this series is going to be helpful to so many of us! Thanks for being willing to “go there.” Doesn’t the best writing always come from the hardest places?
You are welcome. I am praying that in the process of “going there” God gives me the words and teaches us that letting go is a good thing. Writing does come from the hardest places. Thank you for being here.
Ahhh, Mary. Such a beautiful post. I’m looking forward to your series. Letting go is HARD. Period. It just is. I’ve shared this on my own blog, but I had to let go of the dream of motherhood for a time. Becoming pregnant, becoming a mama had become my idol. God, in His gentle, yet firm ways, pried my fingers loose from this dream so He could do the work in me to prepare for the journey to motherhood that He had planned. As I learned to be content with where He had me, His peace filled me. He put into place the steps that eventually built my husband’s and my family to include two amazing boys. Was it HARD? Oh, yes. Was it worthwhile? Definitely.
When we let go, God can work in ways we never dreamed.
PS—I forgot to mention. Your photographs are stunning!
Thank you! I can’t take credit this time. They are from Unsplash. Most of the time they are my own.
God teaches us in the hard and through the deepest desires of our heart. Thank you for pointing out contentment because in the process of letting go, I believe they go hand in hand. I also appreciate your transparency in sharing a piece of your story. What a blessing that you have a beautiful family and two amazing sons. Thank you for being here and for joining me in this journey.
Mary
I jokingly tell God, “This is my rut and I like it,” when it comes to change. I’m a slow adapter to the new and unknown. I’ve had so many “lettings go”…letting go of an over 25 year marriage, letting go of a teaching job when multiple surgeries sidelined me, letting go of two adult children, etc. I knew my job going into parenting was going to be a steady letting go, but that doesn’t make it any the less bittersweet. The other ones I mentioned were heartbreaking, frustrating, a whole mix of emotions. Only now can I look back and see that what others may have meant for evil, the Lord could transform into beauty. While IN the crucible, my trust was often shaky at best. Looking forward to your series. I will journey with you there (kicking and screaming perhaps) but I will go!!
Blessings sweet friend and praying for you in your journey…
Bev xx
Your story has involved a lot of changes and growth opportunities ( I think that’s the nice way to say challenges). I am glad you realized along the way as a parent that it was a process of letting go. If I look back, I realize that was what was happening, but now that everything is coming at me all at once, it seems like I woke up one day and had to say goodbye to everything. I am honored to have you journeying with me. I am praying that God teaches me along the way as I enter this next step of life.
The word God led me to this year is “surrender” which is similar to letting go, and there was definitely kicking and screaming! I’m discovering it’s not so bad though and there have been blessings I would never have expected.
For me it’s been more about letting go internally so far- surrendering expectations and fears and the desire to be in control instead of trusting God. It’s definitely not easy and it is an on-going journey.
Look forward to reading the rest of the posts in your series.
I know you have written about surrender before and I agree that it is like letting go. They both require a release and a dependence on God. I can also relate to the internal work that needs to be done in surrendering. I must have a lot of work to be done on the inside because God has been digging deep.
I am praying we both continue to see the blessings in the process of letting go. May God bless you with a deep sense of trust and faith in the process.
Letting go is so hard! So much THIS: ” It’s not for the faint of heart and it requires brave steps as well as a loosening of the tight, knuckle grip I keep on my life.” Great post friend!
You are a beautiful encourager. I am a slow learner and evidently what feels like a beginning of letting go has actually been happening my whole life. I am praying I loosen my grip, release all and fall into God’s loving embrace. Love and hugs friend!
I absolutely love your thought: “Letting go is an ongoing journey.” I keep thinking I’ve let go of all I can handle at the moment and it’s time to release something else! Even knowing all the changes you’ve dealt with lately, seeing them listed in that paragraph made me tense up for you ;). I’m sorry we haven’t had a chance to hang out recently. Summer has been crazy. I’m hoping as soon as school starts back, we can spend some time together on a regular basis. Much love to you, my friend. Thank you for your always much needed words, Mary.
I love that you feel what I am feeling in the letting go, but I think I live in disbelief that all those things are really happening. I’m not sure that I feel tense over the letting go but sad that life continues to move on even as hard as we try to hold onto it. I truly have a lot to learn but God is so patient and is willing to hold my hand through it all. Love seeing you! I’ve missed you!
This should be good. Letting go.
In 1978-9 I had to let go of my first marriage. I was married to the love of my life and we had three children – he chose to tear the marriage down and then I had to go build a new life for me and my 3!
It could’ve been a “time to kill” but I chose restraint. I’m laughing now but then? I was worse than devastated and crushed.
xo
Letting go of anything can cause us to run through a gamut of emotions. For me right now, it feels like everyone else is moving forward and I am standing still. I know that is not the case but it is hard and I am hard on myself in the process. Thank you for sharing!
What a great topic that speaks to many as seasons are a fact of life. Like the leaf in fall, it has to let go of the branch eventually! However, it always looks graceful when it falls as it doesn’t fight the gravity. It’s been a journey of letting go for me these past months, unsure of direction, and then finally made a decision. A season of four years with lots and lots of service is ending, and a new season with a new focus is upon me this fall.
I am excited to hear about your new journey. I pray that you will continue to write and share a glimpse into your world. Thank you for the beautiful analogy of the leaf during Fall. It accurately displays what a season of letting go looks like. You always bless me when you stop by, Lynn. Praying for you as you transition to the new.
Mary- what a great topic for a series! Glad the Lord has been teaching you about this so graciously (He can always take our kicking and screaming well, can’t He?) I’ll be back for more : ) Also…my letting go lately has been of plans I made for our future, deciding that a place the Lord led my family would be home because I wanted it to be, but the Lord has asked me to let go because it was just for a season and He seems to have other plans— His are always better!!
God’s plans are always better. It is in the everyday that I sometimes have a hard time seeing through the routines to catch a glimpse of my future. I need to release all to Him, stepping out in faith, that God knows exactly what He is doing. I am praying for you as you move forward into God’s future which will be beautiful even if it is not what you first imagined. Thank you for being here!
I’m with you, Mary. This past year has been one for the books in releasing people, places, things. Repeat. Repeat again. And again.
I can’t wait to read where you take us in this little series. You’ve already been such a fine traveling companion through the ups and downs. I just know God has something for each of us who journeys with you.
Releasing should be such a positive thing because it makes room for all God has planned for our future. However, I seem to having a rather hard time at letting go of the many things that seem to be hitting me all at once. Thank you for being my traveling companion. You are great company, my friend!