Grief sneaks up when we least expect it. Memories fill our mind and our heart aches with the desire for physical presence once again. I am learning to allow grief to wash over me knowing that the act is cleansing, renewing and healing. The times of remembering will never completely repair the hole from loss but keep our hearts ever yearning and leaning into God. This post is for all of you that have experienced any kind of loss. Daddy, will you dance with me is a question that begs for a chance to go deeper and seek presence. What is your question?
“Daddy, will you dance with me?” Music softly played in the background as I got up the nerve to ask.
A quiet “yes” followed. That was the only invitation I needed to promptly place my stockinged feet on my dad’s size thirteen shoes.
Gentle swaying followed and a little girl’s dream of feeling like a princess, even if only for a few minutes, was fulfilled.
Childhood memories have come into focus more recently. The memory of feet tangled in a sweet dance along with the tight grip of my dad’s hands wrapped around mine swirl around my days and nights. The memory of my dad and I dancing in the kitchen is one of my sweetest treasures.
Other memories surface of busyness, responsibility and snapshots of my dad sitting in his office. Special memories to gather on a gray day, but not as meaningful as one dance across the kitchen floor.
This past August my dad went home. My dad’s journey of 95 years ended in a joyous union with Jesus. The peace surrounding that moment is a gift I carry with me always. My dad’s story is one of a life well-lived complete with caring for his family, working hard, and carrying his faith with him at all times. But the early years of my life did not always look like the sweet memory of a dance. Many years I remember seeing my dad first thing in the morning and then again at dinner. My dad took his responsibility as head of the household very seriously. I knew my dad worked hard and understood he loved me, but I craved so much more.
[Tweet “God knows what we need and loves to surprise us just when we need it.”]
God knows what we need and loves nothing more than to surprise us with the blessing just when we need it. The last year of my dad’s life was a roller coaster ride of health problems and as his caregiver, I rode the roller coaster with him. The ups and downs carried the beautiful gift of presence through each peak and valley.
My dad blessed me with the gift of time. He leaned in, listened well and spent his last year getting to know me-really know me. He selflessly did the same for my brothers and his grandchildren too. Before my eyes, dad became vulnerable and wanted nothing more than to know who I was, emotions and all. The times my dad listened to me as if no one else was in the room, even when he wasn’t feeling well, is the gift of presence. My dad shared love in a way that left me knowing that his family meant everything to him.
On the days the hole in my heart yearns for one more moment with my dad, God surrounds me with His love.
When one small trigger causes tears to flow, comfort flows from unexpected sources.
God takes our joy and sorrow and tenderly holds it as a gift because He cares so deeply.
When you are given the gift of presence, you care for it with tenderness. You make the most of every moment that results from the time together. Praise and thanks whisper from your lips as you recognize how God blessed you with exactly what you needed. One question such as “Daddy, will you dance with me?” leads to time with the people you love the most. Seeking God in the highs and lows of life unveils selfless acts of love when you least expect it.
[Tweet “Seeking God in the highs and lows of life unveils selfless acts of love when you least expect it.”]
May you seek the gift of presence in your everyday knowing that choosing real life leads to a blessing greater than you can imagine.
Journeying through memories!
You may find me hanging out at these lovely places today.
You’re looking so beautiful, cute and adorable in the pics. You shared a beautiful moment.
Thank you!
Those memories….I don’t have happy memories of my dad – you are blessed!
I certainly don’t presume that others had the same experience as me. I am indeed blessed. Thank you for sharing here.
Mary, I just finished reading ” Daddy Will You Dance With Me”. with tears still streaming down my face… I’d like to say thank you for sharing .. in doing so you helped me to recall my own memory of standing on my daddy’s feet and dancing with him. what a precious memory. My daddy died when I was 9&1/2..nearly 47 years ago & I still miss him dearly..Memories like these help to heal the broken heart as we hold them close, cherish them and share them.Thanks again for sharing! I know one day we will dance again in heaven. . swirling and whirling on our Daddy’s feet!
Memories do help to heal our broken hearts. I love knowing that you have precious memories of your dad too. What a beautiful thing to look forward to that moment we get to dance with our dads again in heaven. Thank you for blessing me with your sweet memories and for sharing so vulnerably.
Sweet friend, this is a beautiful post. You have such wonderful memories of him.
I’m happy you spent sometime with him. Your baby picture is so cute. You kept that unique smile.
God Bless my friend.
I’m glad to know you are well.
Aww thank you for your kind words. I was very blessed to have that last year with my dad. I pray you cherish moments with your loved ones and know you are loved. Love and hugs my friend!
Mary, such a beautiful post. It’s a special thing for a girl to have a dad who loves and lives well. I’m so glad you had that last y to ear with him, and I love that God gave you the gift of being known by him.
It reminds me of our girlhood, dancing before my parents to “very 70’s” music, horsey rides on my dad’s back, him playing “monster” and achieving uproarious giggles every time he surprised us. I’m blessed my father is still alive. You remind me of the importance of cherishing every moment I have with him (and with my mom).
I hope that the message of cherishing time with those we love comes through. No matter what the relationship looks like it is such a gift. I love that you have many wonderful memories. Treasure those and keep creating them.
I loved writing these words and sharing this memory. Every memory brings me a bit more healing and grief is best recognized and experienced. Blessings friend!
A lovely devotion Mary; thank you.
May God grant you many happy memories as you continue to grieve for your father being with you no more.
God is teaching me to be present in His Presence this year, so your words here really spoke volumes to me: When you are given the gift of presence, you care for it with tenderness. You make the most of every moment that results from the time together. Praise and thanks whisper from your lips as you recognize how God blessed you with exactly what you needed.
Thank you Mary! It seems that the happy memories far outweigh anything else even though they do bring tears. It sounds like God is working in you too. He loves when we draw near to Him and you are honoring Him by letting Him teach you about presence. I appreciate you sharing a piece of how God is working in you. It blessed me so much to see you here today.
I’m so glad you are finding not only the memories of your sweet father comforting you, Mary, but are resting in the reality that your heavenly Father is near and loves you deeply as well. What a beautiful portrait of both fathers you’ve painted for us today.
Thank you for saying that Beth. In order for me to continue to heal and process, I find sharing on this page to be very helpful. I am blessed with the abundance of having been loved by my earthly dad and loved beyond measure by my heavenly dad. Thank you for your kind words.
My dad called today just to chat. I’m feeling a little extra grateful after reading your post!
I love hearing that you just spoke with your dad. It is a gift that one should never take for granted. Thank you for sharing the blessing of your dad.
Oh, Mary. This caught my eye because I have fond memories of dancing with my Daddy as a little girl. He died one year ago tomorrow and grief is pounding on the door of my heart this week. But God reminds me how much He loves me even as wrestle with this. Many blessings to you! I hope you don’t mind if I share the link to the post I wrote about dancing with my Daddy after he died. You can delete it if you want, but your memories are so similar I feel compelled to share.http://www.creativeinspirationsatmymessydesk.com/dancing-with-my-daddy/
I can just imagine the ache you must be feeling at the year anniversary of your dad’s death. God is truly our great Healer and His deep love is what sees me through the grief. I am honored that you felt comfortable leaving me the link to your post about your dad. I am sure God led you to connecting our memories like this. Grace and peace!
What a gift your dad gave you before he died, Mary. To have someone who truly wants to know you for who you really are … I’m guessing that many people live their whole lives and never experience that. I’m sorry for the grief you feel but am thankful you shared this today. It was both encouraging and helpful for me to read it. 🙂
I was left with not only a gift but a piece of legacy that I can grow with my own family. I pray that we all feel that deep presence from a loved one in our lifetime. I also pray we feel God’s presence and deep love. I’m honored you stopped by today.
Mary, This was so good and brought back memories of my Dad. It’s so special you had that time at the end. I’m so grateful that God gave me that same gift, too, before my Dad passed away. Thank you for sharing this.
I am blessed beyond measure and the time I had with my dad was such a gift. What a blessing that God gave you this same kind of gift too. Grief is hard but God loves us through it.
Mary, what sweet memories, esp. of dancing with your dad. That’s an adorable picture of you. 🙂 I have wonderful memories of my dad, too, and still miss him though he’s been gone 25 years. May God bless and comfort you! I’m your neighbor at #Glimpses this week.
I truly love these sweet memories and love that you have wonderful memories of your dad too. God is comforting me and it sounds like He is doing the same for you too. Blessings!
Ah, what a beautiful memory and reminder to enjoy the presence of the ones we love while we have them. I lost all of my grandparents when I was at my most selfish and cantankerous (between the ages of 12-16 😉 ). I regret that i didn’t ask more questions and get to know them better when they were here.
The beautiful memories are like a breath of fresh air when I need it most. I did not really know my grandparents but was blessed to have my parents for so many years. Thank you for being here! I appreciate you!
Mary,
I can empathize with your feelings. It’s amazing how God will continue to bring my dad to mind – it’s been almost 6 years since he passed. I will hear something come out of my mouth and I laugh thinking, that’s just what my dad used to say. (My crying has turned to a bittersweet laugh). Or one day sifting through books in the attic I came across my dad’s handwritten note in a book to me. It was his engineers block printing and I just felt the nearness of his presence. I know God will do the same for you. There’s always that part of you that will miss him until you see him again face to face, but God is good in giving us fond remembrances of those we love who have gone on before us. Prayers for you sweet friend…
Blessings and ((hugs)),
Bev
Thank you for sharing how you still have memories of your dad pop up. I know my mourning will turn to dancing but right now it is rather raw. We have another thing in common. My dad was an engineer too and had block letter handwriting. I smiled when I read that in your comment. Maybe we are sisters and we don’t know it!!! 😉
I cherish your prayers and know that day when I see my dad and mom face to face again will be glorious. Blessings to you too!
I’m so glad you have special, fond memories of your dad, Mary. That gift of presence and listening is priceless. But that doesn’t stop the ache in your heart of missing him. I love how you always point to our only hope in God in our grief. “God takes our joy and sorrow and tenderly holds it as a gift because He cares so deeply.” So beautiful. Thank you for this encouragement. Love and strength-giving hugs to you!
I do have wonderful memories but there will always be something missing now that he’s gone. God is our Healer and He is the one who comforts and pulls me through when I am struggling. May you feel God’s presence ever so close this week as you journey through to the other end. Love you friend!
What a beautiful story! That song by Steven Chapman, gets me every time.
Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “Cinderella” is such a beautiful testimony to fathers and daughters. My daughter-in-law danced with her dad to that song when she and my son got married. Thank you for being here.
So thankful that God has given you two great gifts: the wonderful dad who loved you so well, and now the memory of those days to carry you through the sorrow and loss. May you sense God’s presence in these days of unpredictable waves of grief. It’s good that you are giving yourself time to remember, to be sad, and to be thankful.
(And you were just an adorable little girl!)
What a beautiful way to look at it Michele- two great gifts. I do indeed have much to be thankful for. I find grief to be welcome at times and so much more bearable when I lean into it and let it be what it needs to be. I hope through these words you felt encouraged in knowing that God’s presence is always near. Love having you here and I’m surprised I could the perfect picture of myself when I was young to go with this post.
What a blessing to have that special time with your dad, Mary. I absolutely love the pictures you shared. He sounds like such an amazing man. I know you miss him dearly, my friend. Much love to you as you continue to grieve and find peace. Thankfully those precious memories will last forever.
I love the pictures too. I adored my dad. As much as I miss my dad, going through this process of allowing memories to wash over me is so healing. Keep praying and affirming for me that God will see me through. Love you friend and thanks for being here.
What beautiful memories you have of your father, Mary. I’m glad he’s resting now from that final year of illness (and you are too), but I imagine the grief must be so hard. May God’s grace continue to surround you, friend. It’s funny, just today I was remembering my grandfather, so your post fits right in with my memory.
Thank you Betsy! Grief is tricky and sometimes it is hard, but overall each time a memory surfaces it brings me closer to my dad and closer to healing. I love that you were thinking of your grandpa today. What a wonderful God connection. I feel God’s grace in my grief and love knowing that this community is walking alongside me in this journey.
This is such a moving and beautiful tribute to your dad, and I love the photos. I’m so glad you had such special quality time with your dad in his last year and that it has given you these happy memories.
It’s so true that presence is what is important. I always felt that my great gran was the one who was truly there for me as I was growing up. She was frail physically but she always listened to me and showed so much love. Even though she died when I was 14 I still miss her sometimes but I’m grateful for the time I had with her and the knowledge that she is with Jesus and I will see her again one day.
I’m so glad you had someone special in your life like your gran. It is a beautiful blessing. My dad left me with the gift of knowing and understanding presence. I pray that everyone experiences the gift of presence.
I can’t wait to see my dad again, but in the mean time I hope I can share the same gift my dad shared with me with someone else.
Aw. So beautiful. Beautiful memories and lessons. You’re dad’s amazing!
P.S. What a cute photo too! 🙂
My dad was amazing and I was blessed to know that especially in the last year of his life. Thank you for being here.