Today we welcome Wren Robbins, Friends of a Feather podcast host, lover of the Enneagram and a blogger. She writes and shares the ins and outs of the life of an Enneagram Six. Please welcome her and let her know if you know any sixes in the comments.
Finding out my Enneagram number was a relief. For weeks I tried figuring out my number and the third time of taking the test it was settled, I was a Six. At first, the Six types on the Enneagram sounded great to me. I’m the Loyalist, oh yes! But digging deeper I read that it’s also known as the Loyal Skeptic…skeptic. uh, okay, maybe not sounding so great, now.
It’s funny because I feel like when we meet new people we should introduce ourselves, shake their hand and say, “Hello, I’m Wren and I’m an Enneagram Six with a 7 wing, nice to meet you.”
To risk not sounding overly dramatic, the Enneagram Typing Personality System has improved every single relationship I have. Sure, there are some pitfalls of knowing a lot about the Enneagram and a lot of cop-outs you hear, but it is the single one thing that has opened up my eyes to talking, relating, and understanding others well in light of the gospel.
The Enneagram Six, when healthy is a delightful person who is funny, loyal to those closest to them, and as Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile say, “…the most faithful and dependable people on the Enneagram.” In fact, I read that this type represents more than half of the people in the world.
Pitfalls
Let’s talk about pitfalls in the life of a Six and get them out of the way. Remember, I have a 7 wing, so my “let’s not sit in painful areas” personality kicks in sometimes.
We often doubt ourselves. When making decisions, it is extremely hard not to feel confident in those decisions. We don’t want you to make the decision for us, but we desire assurance that we are on the right track. But, there are other times, when we are fully confident in our decisions. There is a type of push and pull in the life of a Six. We are very layered and pretty complicated. We can vacillate between having full confidence in what we are doing is God’s will to swinging all the way back to feeling insecure and in need of reassurance.
The What-Ifs
The sin that so easily besets an Enneagram Six is being anxious. Not to be confused with being fearful. Fear is something we all have inside. If I’m in the woods and I see a snake, I am going to have fear and it is a God-given healthy fear. But, the main struggle of a six is this thought of the worst case ‘what if’s’ that creates anxiety in a person. If not controlled by the Holy Spirit, the ‘what if’s’ can take over a sixes life and they will live in constant defeat and anxiety.
I remember one of the scariest things I have ever been through. One day at my job as a Kindergarten teacher, my vision suddenly was impaired. I could see but my vision had changed in a big way. I was so overwrought with the “what if’s worst-case scenarios” I could think of. Later that week, I remember sitting in front of an eye specialist and he looked at me and said, “You need to relax.” Easier said than done, in the life of a Six. My eyes were good, it was a common thing, hormones played into it and it was going to be okay. The sin that easily besets was kicking in, and all I could think about was myself. I was no longer focusing on Jesus and allowing His peace to come and dwell with me.
Sixes can also be the type that can change the world if we can combat our negative thoughts. It is so important for us as Sixes to take stand our ground that the enemy tries to take, put on the full armor of God and retrain our brains “…to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.” Philippians 4:8
Sixes can become some of the most fun, steady and undemanding companions in the world. Join us for a look into the life of an Enneagram Six. #EnneaWhat #enneagramseries #TellHisStory #linkup Click To TweetStrengths
I love that as Enneagram Sixes, we usually have a plan. We like predictability, knowing schedules a month (or two) in advance, and having order. Security is one of our main needs and we love it when we have rules to follow.
When making decisions, we think about how this will affect not just one person but everyone as a whole. If I am going to post something about my son on Instagram, my mind goes straight to the friend who is walking through infertility and how this post may affect her in some way. There are always exceptions, but thinking of the greater good is on our hearts and minds when making decisions.
We love to be part of the community and are very diplomatic because we usually see both sides to any given situation. When we get the reassurance that we seek, Ian and Suzanne say that “they(Sixes) can become some of the most fun, steady and undemanding companions in the world.” And that’s not a bad thing at all.
I’m grateful for what the Enneagram has taught me looking at it through a gospel lens knowing that ONLY Jesus can make me secure, that I’m never alone, that He is trustworthy and I can trust Him. Praise Him.
**Such good insight from Wren Robbins today. I do not know any sixes so this post helped me to understand my future six friends. When we gather next week, Lisa Burgess will share about the Enneagram Five. She wraps up our series. I hope you have enjoyed this series as much as I have.
Wren is a believer in Christ, wife, mom, former Kindergarten teacher, and podcaster. For the past 16 years, she has been married to Jim. They have one son and two dogs, Addy and Behr. They live on 2 acres outside of Memphis, TN and love it. Wren is the host of the Friends of a Feather Podcast having uplifting conversations with women like you every Friday. You can find her at wrenrobbins.com & on Instagram.
Four Enneagram resources I recommend:
1. Listen to Friends of a Feather Podcast: Summer Enneagram Series Ep. 84-94 My friend, Michele Dyer, Enneagram expert joined me in this 11 episode series on each type of the Enneagram. The average episode is 30 minutes long and is packed full of insight!
2. Get and read the book, “The Road Back to You” by Ian Cron & Suzanne Stabile
3. The “Your Enneagram Coach” account is a great resource on Instagram. Recently, there was a post entitled Gospel Messages for Sixes in your Life. I have printed that and pray it over myself most days. It has been a great prayer tool for me.
I have a 6 friend and recognized the 6 in her from her ‘what if’ scenarios! I learned to see the gift in this as she learned to see my more 7 ‘just jump in and try’ attitude! Yes, learning about others through the Ennegram helps our relationships overall! Thanks for teaching me more about the 6 Type.
Yes, I love that! A great gift!!!
Thanks for helping me understand the 6 I love a little better.
You are so welcome! I love the Enneagram!
I don’t even pretend to understand all these numbers and how they relate to people…but it is interesting. And I usually think, “that sounds sorta like me” – until I read this one and then read more about Enneagram Sixes. That is me:) Not sure what that means going forward but it is all very interesting!
That’s neat! Learning your Enneagram Type number is a great start..I had no idea that my husband didn’t think or feel the way I did about things! So interesting!
I haven’t quite got my head round the enneagram yet, but from what I’ve read and doing a test it seems that I am a six. I definitely relate to what you share here so it is interesting to learn more. It is so important, especially at times like this, when our lives have been so disrupted, to remember that our security has to be in Christ.
Wren, I’ve read all the posts in Mary’s series and never even came close to thinking, “That’s me.” With yours, that was my thought the whole way through! This whole system still makes my head buzz, but if I had to venture a guess, it seems that I might be a 6! 🙂
Wow!!
Yes!!!! When I read and heard more about a 6, it was totally reconfirmed over and over for me.
Welcome to the 6 club😂! But, really it has helped me understand myself and others so much better.
Thanks for your comment!
I live with a loyalist, he is a wonderful hubby! 😀
Bless you,
Jennifer
Awe, yay!!! Thank you for stopping by!
I definitely relate to the “what if” thinking. Recently, my prescription changed drastically in my left eye, and I was already wondering how I was going to fulfill my callings as a blind person! I have to shake my head at myself, sometimes.
I’m going to be sure and listen to your podcast; it sounds so interesting.
Oh yep. I could see myself doing that as well.
Thanks for stopping by to comment, Jerralea Hope the podcast series is helpful to you!
Wren, thanks for this peak inside the workings of a six. It is so helpful to hear what makes us tick. Mary, I’ve enjoyed this series.
Yay! Glad it was helpful! This series was so good!!
Thank you for this inside look, Wren. I’m not positive what I am, but I sure can relate to those “what-ifs” and the worrying about something I say may hurt someone. Like some others here, I love how you end this – “ONLY Jesus can make me secure, that I’m never alone, that He is trustworthy and I can trust Him.” Love and blessings to you both, Wren and Mary.
Thank you, Trudy! Yes. It comes down to knowing God always keeps His promises. He is always faithful.
Amen!
I’m a 5w6 – Your description of a 6 is so spot on. Enjoyed every word. And, Mary, this series is great!
So glad to hear that! Thanks for your encouragement fellow 6 (or Wing 6!)
I love reading more about you, Wren. My sister is a 6 and I see many things in her that you share here. I’m a 5, with both 4 and 6 wings taking turns, so I also relate on a personal level to what you’re saying. When I broke my arm years ago, my first thoughts were: what if I can never play the piano again, what if I won’t be able to type, etc. Those “what if’s” can wreak havoc in my brain. 🙂
The Enneagram has been a great tool to me too to help better understand myself and my relationships with others and with God. Thanks for helping us understand 6s better today!
Thanks Lisa!! I’m in good company with you and your sister!! Nice to meet you.
Thanks again for this great series, Mary. And thank you, Wren, for these insights into the thought processes of a 6. These are really such good examples for us all to follow, when anxiety seems to be on a rampage now! May we learn to look up to Jesus for His confidence and help in the midst of it all. Blessings to you both!
Amen!!! Thank you Bettie!!
Anything we can learn about our God-given personality is a plus. When we know, understand, and can give compassion to ourselves, it is easier to do the same for others.
Yes!!! It’s been so helpful!
Thanks for your comment, Laurie!
My problem with the Enneagram is that I want to be every number 😂. I guess what that means is that I should appreciate all people and their quirks and strengths. Thanks for sharing your sixness with us!
Hey Anita! Yes, there are so many great things about each type! Thanks for welcoming me!!
This was very interesting and is making me think about if I have any 6 friends. I read The book Back to You and want to listen to your summer podcast series. I finally got serious about the Enneagram this summer and am learning lots.
Theresa, It is so interesting and when I hear from the experts soo much makes sense!! Thanks for listening!
If ever there was a time in our world when we needed our 6’s, this is it! Your ability to sense risk and to plan for it, your faithful devotion to your people–these are qualities we need to lean into in our homes and communities.
So great to meet you, Wren! I’ll be following up on the links to get to know you better.
Michele,
Thank you for saying that! What a great way to look at it!
Would love to connect with you! Nice to meet you as well!!
Wren, I love this right here –> ‘ONLY Jesus can make me secure, that I’m never alone, that He is trustworthy and I can trust Him.’
Linda,
Yes! That’s what I need reminding of when the what if’s start taking over!
Thank you for your encouragement!
I don’t know what number I am–when I’ve taken the tests, I score high on 1, 5, and 6, and I see myself to some degree of each. But much of this resonates with me, so thank you for this perspective.
Hey Barbara!
I’ve heard if you can relate to more than one number you are pretty well rounded:)
Listen to the specific episodes from my podcast series on the Enneagram on the Type 5, Type 1, and the Type 6 and that may help you narrow it down.
Thanks for commenting! It’s nice to meet you!
Wren, it’s so nice to “meet” you! I think I know one six. Your words here help me to better understand her. I especially love what you said at the end of your post: ” ONLY Jesus can make me secure, that I’m never alone, that He is trustworthy and I can trust Him.” This is so true, for each Enneagram number. 🙂
Thanks for sharing about sixes and helping me better understand them!
Hey Jeanne,
Yes so so true for all of us, and something we need to cling to right now.
Glad I could help! Thank you for welcoming me!
Wren, thanks for sharing the “behind the scenes” look at an Enneagram 6. I can relate to the “What if’s.” I can self-diagnose and begin pondering worst-case scenarios in an instant on Google. What great attributes your number has!! Thanks for sharing! Truly enjoying this series, Mary!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev,
Yes!!! I had to ban myself from Web MD😂😂!
Thanks for your encouragement!