Sometimes you are lucky enough to find a community that feels just like the place you want to hang out. You know when you visit that it feels like home and once there you don’t want to leave. It’s the feeling you get when you sit across the table from a friend with your favorite coffee or tea. The conversation flows and the friendship flourishes. There is such a place that gathers every week at Kate Motaung’s. It’s called Five Minute Friday where coffee and chocolate are always available. Some friends meet on Twitter Thursday evenings to begin the party and others join after a one word prompt is given for all to ponder. These are my people and this community is HOME. Come join us as we write for five minutes on a word and share your own ponderings.
I’m hovering in the middle. A space of waiting, watching and wondering. A time of letting parts of me catch up with the other parts that are unsure. It is where the broken pieces gather to become whole and the space where healing is given more time. The middle sometimes feels like emptiness but has a sense of connection as understanding dawns in the space.
The middle is where my grief resides right now. In this time of loss, the former grief collides with current grief. Both need the time to come together to allow for renewed purpose. Both live together as memories of my parents surface and fill the emptiness that sometimes resides. As much as it sounds like limbo, it has become the space I need for deep healing and restoration. Without the time in the middle, who I am is just part of who God wants me to be.
Grief works in and out of my daily life but serves as a reminder of the legacy of two parents, who left me with a sense of who I am. In this middle space, I am learning that it is okay to not be okay. I can let go and let God do the work that is so needed inside me as I move forward. While I’m here, I rest in knowing that God will catch me on the days I am falling and walk alongside me as I become stronger. I learn I am more than my grief but know that my parents are an integral part of me and where I will go next.
Being in the middle is a gift that I would never trade because God is with me. The blessing of sitting for awhile is that I am giving myself the chance to heal from the inside out. God is the Comforter who catches my every tear and holds them close to His heart. This is exactly where I need to be and exactly where I will become whole.
I love this image of the sun stopped in the middle of the sky. The image describes where I am right now and where I need to be.
So the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, till the nation avenged itself on its enemies, as it is written in the Book of Jashar. The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. Joshua 10:13
Standing in the middle,
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