Tap, tap, tap! I hit my pen against the table. Click, click, click! The cap of the pen flips off and on in a steady rhythm. Impatience, frustration and sometimes weariness takes on a life of its own via my pen. The journey requires patience in the waiting and a willingness to hang on and not grow weary.
On this day, as I write out these words, I seek to know God’s heart more clearly in this part of my journey. I take time to wrap my brain around Isaiah 40:30-31. How do I not grow faint or weary? What does it take to know that God’s timing is always perfect? How do I turn off the voices that tell me I’ll never arrive at my destination?
Isaiah 40:30-31 says:
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
and they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
The pen clicking subsides as I soak in God’s words. The doubts want to disappear, but the hard work is not finished. The thought of going deeper causes my fingers to twitch around my pen. I ask myself “why do I find myself in this place again and why do I grow weary when I’m running toward God”?
Questions beg for a response but God promises to answer us in His truth and in His way. Perhaps we lack a time of leaning in close to hear the answers. Maybe the questions asked do not call for answers or we prefer not to stick around for the outcome. Sometimes we even ask the wrong questions.
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But I wonder if I make things harder and instead of doing the work to go deeper, I lose hope. Instead of running the race and persevering, I somehow believe I can’t. Isaiah tells us that if we hope in the Lord we will renew our strength. In my weariness, I desire strength. I want to press on and soar but know my lack of hope requires more work.
So I dig my heels in and go back to what I know works best:
Praying specific prayers that I believe God will answer.
Giving praise and thanksgiving that God will not give up on me.
Listening with the intention of hearing God’s voice and no others.
Reading God’s Word as a source of truth and hope.
Knowing my hope comes only from God and He has a never-ending supply of it.
I pray you know where your hope comes from and on the days when you grow faint and weary, I hope you take one more step toward the strength of the Lord.
Hoping in the Lord!