I have a habit of listening to podcasts as I am driving. I rotate through four to five favorite podcasts in my attempt to stay on top of all of them. On this particular day, Emily P. Freeman’s podcast, The Next Right Thing, was next in the lineup. I began listening to the latest episode, called “Learn the Art of Asking Questions” and knew that I wanted to share my reflections here.
The new year has been anything but normal and just as I feel the tide is turning toward normalcy, the bottom falls out once again. There is power in taking the time to look back and reflect. One quick look back provides the understanding and foundation to continue moving forward. Today I will engage in the art of asking questions. I hope you find this activity provides you with some questions that will guide you as we move into the second half of 2020.
In the past 30 days, what was your most life-giving yes?
The last month has not provided many opportunities to choose between a “yes” and a “no.” June was the beginning of the gradual reopening of my state. As a person who errs on the side of “let’s see how it goes”, I continued to spend more time at home than going out in public. Walking at the area parks will always be on my list of ways to get out of the house. June was no exception to this glorious past time. But walking is only one daily activity that fills up part of my day. I discovered that creating some routines are beneficial in keeping me sane.
The second activity I added in June was a daily bible study with a group of women on Zoom. This by far was my best “yes” since the pandemic shut everything down in March. Four women, including myself, took an hour out of our morning for three weeks to gather and discuss the book of Hebrews. I loved the conversation, vulnerability, and opportunity to dive deeper into God’s Word. It was such a sweet, soul-filling time. I highly recommend gathering like this with your own group.
In the past 30 days, what was your most life-giving no?
If you know me, even a little, you probably have heard many more “yeses” in response to questions than “noes.” It’s who I am. My first reaction to this question was to pause and think long and hard.
As things continue to open up in Ohio, I find that my biggest “no” is hugging my friends when we meet. It might not sound like much, but for me, this is a choice that has been difficult to make. Maybe I am letting the media reports about the rise in coronavirus cases get the best of me or maybe it is just a way to make sure my friends and I stay safe. Either way, I know that the virus is real and I’m not willing to give up the chance to see my people because of a choice that I made.
Name something you’re reconsidering.
I’m reconsidering and learning what it means to say, “Black Lives Matter.” I’m immersing myself in books and podcasts to learn and open my eyes to consider the suffering that black people have endured for hundreds of years. When you read or hear the words, “Black Lives Matter”, what is your first reaction? Do you feel you need to respond or are you able to sit in agreement?
I am asking myself these questions as I strive to move toward deeper awareness and understanding of the suffering my friends of color have endured for years. My limited knowledge has lain dormant and it’s time to grow in what I know as well as in acceptance.
I am currently reading, The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness, by Michelle Alexander. It is a challenging read but well worth the time.
The best podcast I have listened to recently is Brene Brown’s, Unlocking Us as she talks with Austin Channing Brown. It is so good that I have it on my list to listen to again.
What was the funniest thing that happened last month?
Any day with Jack is a great day. He is going on sixteen months and he is full of fun, laughter, and curiosity. There are times that he cracks himself up and we can’t help but laugh with him. He hides on the other side of walls, doors, and in corners and finds so much joy when you peek around to “find” him.
As a family, my kids and I have developed a new rhythm of gathering each weekend just to hang out. There are no fancy meals or pre-planning needed. It is a sweet time with family and lots of laughter.
I’m not sure if I answered this question completely, but you can rest assured that any time I am with my family joy abounds.
What will peace look like next month?
August is typically the time of summer where the heat is showing up in full force. If you are a mom of kids at home, weariness might be setting in as you count down the days till the beginning of the new school year. But who knows what routines we will adopt as we move into the next season.
Peace is elusive these days until I pause and breathe deep. I make the choice to find peace daily and it starts with a quiet time with God, His Word, and the willingness to listen. It is what I know, but it is also a practice that makes me whole. I pray I continue this rhythm as we move into August and beyond.
In this crazy time, how and where are you finding peace?
Life looks nothing like we knew and nothing like we expect. Let's slow down and engage in the art of asking questions as a way to continue moving forward. #TellHisStory #linkup Share on XLife looks nothing like we knew and nothing like we expect. We have the choice to engage in a daily exercise of seeking peace and hope or to choose the path that is sure to overwhelm us. I pray you take some time to slow down and engage in the art of asking questions as a way to continue moving forward.
Blessings,
Such great questions, Mary, and I love your thoughtful answers. I don’t know if “reconsidering” is the right word for it, but I am reading some books about listening and recognizing my immediate need to improve in this area! In a weird way, being more intentional about listening is bringing me peace. (Maybe because people aren’t getting as frustrated at me for interrupting them?) 🙂 So is trying to hold each and every plan loosely, even the really big ones like taking our daughter to college. Hugs, friend.
Thank you for sharing, Lois! You have a lot going on but I admire how you are taking care of yourself in the process. I am also trying to hold every plan loosely and take it day by day. It can be hard for my planning personality.
I will have to check out the Brown podcast. I love her and know I would enjoy this subject and guest.
Austin Channing Brown has so many important things to say in the podcast. I hope you find it is as powerful as I did.
Truly enjoyed reading all of your reflections! I also have some good reflections through all of these unusual months. And had to make some hard tough choices too. Anytime I’m able to spend time with my grandgirls, it is like no other thing matters, other than being in the moment! Their laughter filling the rooms, melts my heart 💗
It sounds like you love being with your grandgirls as much as I love my grandson. Enjoy those girls and have a wonderful weekend!
Great questions Mary, and enjoyed learning how your days have been considered lately. I’ll often ask myself what activities am I doing that are, for me, life-draining rather than life-gaining. Activities that make me feel under a lot of pressure can be draining and that tends to blogging in the summer months especially when our summery days are few. So had to say yes to summer projects and activities and let go of writing on the blog for a time (and be at peace with it, however I do struggle with that)!
Recognizing what is life-giving or life-draining helps to make better decisions. I understand how blogging can take away from other summer activities. I miss your writing when you don’t blog but I understand. Choosing peace in our decisions also helps us to move forward. I always love it when you stop by. Happy Summer!
I was very challenged by The New Jim Crow as well. It was quite eye-opening. My daughter just finished reading it last week. And that Brene Brown podcast is definitely a winner! I marked it on my podcast list to listen to again. 😉 Thanks for sharing this great list of questions, Mary. And Jack is absolutely adorable.
I am going to pass on the book when I finish. It is taking me longer than some books but that is needed in understanding all of the facts and life black people have endured for so many years.
I think Jack is adorable too.
Thought provoking exercise Mary! I love your answers & my no is the same as yours & my yes has been to meet up with my prayer group again for tea, coffee & chat each week since our lock down loosened up.
I’ll have to get back to you on the next one…
Bless you,
Jennifer
I am glad you thought about your “yes” and “no.” I love knowing that you are meeting with your prayer group again. I am sure that is a wonderful blessing.
I LOVE these questions. I’m finding peace in giving myself and everyone around me lots and lots of grace, and chicken-watching. They are hilariously entertaining and it’s so soothing to watch them!
Chicken–watching sounds like it would be lots of fun. I love how you are finding peace and I hope I can extend lots of grace throughout this process too.
These sound like great questions to consider, and I enjoyed reading your reflections. I think my best “no” during this time has been to say no to putting pressure on myself to write or to achieve. I had great plans at the start of lockdown but working from home has been surprisingly busy and exhausting so I’ve had to let go of a lot of other things. I feel like I’m finally getting to a place where I have the energy to start saying “yes” again.
I love how you recognized what would work for you. Extended periods of time at home is exhausting in new ways that none of us were quite prepared for. I am praying that you discover some amazing yeses these next few months. God knows that you are ready.
Great questions! Lately, it seems the nos have far exceeded the yeses…and that is sad. I’m trying to view the nos as life-giving – but I will confess my attitude has been at its best. I’m hoping that July allows for more yeses….and more patience and a sweeter disposition:)
We have been in what feels like a neverending season so the fact that your “noes” don’t feel lifegiving is understandable. I am praying for you that you find peace in any “yeses” and “noes” that come your way in July.
Mary, these were excellent questions. My zoom Bible studies have certainly been good yeses for me.
I hope you find some time to answer these questions and discover what worked for you these past 30 days. I am really enjoying doing Zoom bible studies. I wasn’t too sure at first but now I know it is a great way to grow community.
The Joy of Littles!!! It cleans the barnacles off my heart when they’re around! My biggest yes was to spinal fusion surgery in January – but my most fun yes was when I did #CookevilleFrontStepsProject in our community, where I took photos of families to chronicle life in covid – on their front steps, socially distanced. Instead of paying me, they passed it forward to charities in the community – as we were hit by a massive tornado and lost 19+ people in our community – this was also a way to help those in the community! I think it’s been a year of loving selflessly in our community – a lesson on how to do that.
I know you love your littles too. I like your fun “yes.” I can just imagine how you blessed so many by taking their pictures. Thank you for being here and sharing, Maryleigh.
Saying no to hugs is hard! I didn’t realize how much of a hugger I am until Rona 2020 hit! It’s so instinctive in me to hug, I really have to watch myself.
I’ve been working on stopping to pause and give all my concerns to God multiple times a day.
The action of not hugging others seems so small, but in this season it is quite a big “no.” Thank you for being here and sharing how you give your concerns to God throughout the day. Hope you’re having a good week.
Thank you – lots to reflect on there, I actually said ‘No’ when asked to take on a role in June and am still trying to decide if that’s my ‘life-giving no or yes’ as finally I am beginning to set boundaries and not say yes to everything!
Your comment made me think that sometimes a “no” is lifegiving as a “no” and “yes.” I pray you find out how God is going to use your “no” in the future.
Welcome back, Mary! And yes, I really got into this asking questions podcast of Emily’s. Don’t you just love simply sitting still and conversing with God about what’s on your heart … and pondering His questions and answers?!
With each passing year, I have far fewer answers to life’s intricacies and have found greater peace in knowing ‘He’s got this.’
I know you love Emily’s podcast. I was driving while listening to this episode so I couldn’t wait to get home to write down my answers. I think it is okay to not have as many answers because we have God who has all the answers. He is in control.
Oh yes He is!
What peace comes from embracing that truth totally!
I’m getting there …
I’m getting there too. Peace is the gift I am seeking in this current climate.
I’m finding peace in God’s Word and character, in the fact that He sees the big picture and knows what is ahead and is the only One who can meet the needs of the human heart
Amen. God is the source of our peace and I love knowing that He has everything under control.
Mary,
My son used to hide and play with door stops lol. Must be a “boy” thing? The “yeses” I’ve been considering have been to do a Summer in the Psalms study which is pouring living water into this parched soul. I’ve also been working on a book proposal…God basically said, “Bev, it’s time…let’s do this.” The “noes” have been attemping to say “No” to the enemy who wants to render me ineffective due to fear. I need to remember that no matter how it seems right now, God is still in control!
Blessings,
Bev xx
I think playing with doorstops is a boy thing. Thank you for sharing your “yeses” and “noes.” I love how God lets us know when we are not doing something he is asking us to do. I will be praying for you as you prepare your book proposal. What an exciting “yes.”
I love Emily’s podcast as well, and always find myself challenged by it in the very best ways.
Currently, I am trusting for grace to steward those yeses and noes–not an easy thing in any season, but there seems to be so much at stake right now.
The Next Right Thing always seems to be exactly what I need when I listen to it. I agree that there is so much at stake and I can easily say “yes” too many times to fill up my days. I just keep praying for God to take the lead. He will show us the way.