I woke up and walked into the bathroom just like every morning. One wall is flanked with a large mirror and I can’t help but catch my reflection as I walk by. The first look in the morning is not my favorite, but on this particular morning a new awareness filled my line of vision. The person in the mirror is now a single mom. I no longer belonged to another and instead, I was beginning a journey of walking through life alone. The realization hit me hard and threatened to knock me over with a truth I never thought would be mine.
Flash forward thirteen years. What I know is that I chose to let the title of “single mom” weigh me down and hold me back for far too long. In the moment of raising teen-age sons, working full time, and trying to keep my head above the water, I just wanted someone, anyone to recognize how hard this was for me. The person in the mirror looked like me, sure, but some days I didn’t recognize the face staring back.
While thirteen years have passed and while I am still a single mom, that alone no longer defines my story. My sons are grown, married, and successful. I finished a career as an elementary teacher and am now retired. And I just became a grandma for the first time to a beautiful grandson! I am so much more than the title of single mom that I believed I needed to carry and wear as a badge of honor for the rest of my life. The person in the mirror feels more like me.You are more than the label you wear as a badge of honor. You are deeply loved by a Father, who calls you good, worthy, and loved. @thedentedfender Click To Tweet
I want to encourage you that your reflection is one that is so much more than that one thing you might be claiming about yourself. If you are a believer, you have the incredible gift of a new life in Christ. You can let go of the burdens of who you think you are or the titles others call you and claim your identity in Christ. My life as a single mom has brought me such wonderful friends, connections, and strength in God that I am much more than that one part that defines me.
Follow me to The Dented Fender for more encouragement. You are not alone and you are not defined by the title you carry as a badge of honor.
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I appreciate your comment because I have been praying about single’s ministry and what that would look like. But then, creating a space for a group that is homogeneous is not always healthy. I know as a single woman that it is difficult to always feel welcomed and recognized in a church setting. I’m just trying to figure out how this group can feel welcome at church and how I can help in that process. You have given me more to contemplate.
Mary, love this post. It reminded me of this quote I read recently…
“Then she gave me a mask and asked me to write what I project to the world on the outside and then on the inside write what I really think.
The outside was trying to project everything I thought my parents, society, friends would approve of. The outside was all the ways we try and hide our damage/faults. The inside was the real me – kind, loving, loyal, insightful, hard working and not status motivated, all the things not really valued by society or my family. Seeing the difference blew me away. It transforms your thinking.”
Many blessings to you friend 💕
Praise God that we are not defined by our labels and mistakes and accomplishments … but by our Savior!
YES!! Our Savior calls us daughter or son and that is all we need. Thank you for being here.
If we don’t find our identity in Christ, we are living with a false identity. That thought just struck me as I read your post. My identity must be “child of God” if I am to live life in victory, peace, joy, and love. Otherwise I will always be striving for something without knowing what that something actually is, and living by false standards. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Mary. God bless you.
Yes, our identity is as God’s child. It is from that place that we live and walk in obedience to God. I pray you know that God doesn’t require us to first prove ourselves in anyway. He chose us and that is enough. Thank you for being here.