“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
    and have made the Lord their hope and confidence Jeremiah 17:7

As I sit here in the dark, with only gray-filtered light coming through my windows, I have uninterrupted time to reflect on me! The power outage symbolizes the lack of a clear picture of myself and also points out one that is shadowed by others perceptions and my unwillingness to allow the “real me” to shine through.

For years I was “mom” first even though I was working full-time. My identity revolved around carpooling one of my sons to their next practice, their next game or some other school activity. I was put together, confident and happy on the outside. My husband coached their basketball teams, volunteered at the school and our church and also appeared to have it all together. I would say 99% of the people who knew us believed we had the perfect everything.

My outsides did not match my insides – I was crumbling , broken and desperate to hold it all together so the myth of our lives would look perfect to everyone on the outside looking in. During this time, I completed my Masters in Reading Education, taught my first graders with everything I had, managed the day to day routines of our home and should have felt like I had it all. I went to church – sang in the choir and was a member of the church Pastoral Council- basically I did all the right things or did I?

My marriage was falling apart and the thing I needed more than anything else was not in my life. God was part of my life but He was not my center – the glue needed to hold me together. Keep in mind that Jesus has always been part of my life but He has not been my life! Wasted minutes and hours were spent perfecting this person that others only saw from the outside. God was waiting for me all this time and knew who I was intimately and still chose me to be His daughter. While God was passionately pursuing me, I was holding on tightly to the perceptions of others and how I could maintain those for the world to see. It was only when I let go and chose God as my center, that I became real. God never gave up on me – even after knowing me from the inside out, He still chose me!

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me. Psalm 139:1 

The words in this verse mean the world to me. My heart soars with confidence knowing that who I am matters – the good, the bad and the ugly!

Today I pray we all…

Make the choice for God to be our center – our anchor to hold onto through the calm and rough waters of our lives! Remember God chose you first!

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 

Let God take the lead – really take the lead in the dance of life. He will keep you two-steppin’ and when you gracefully sway into the dip, you won’t fall flat on your face.

Spend your energy on being the real you! I assure you that I am more real now in this last year than I have been my whole life. I am still put together, I have Godly confidence and the smile you see on my face is genuine because my relationship with God is joy-filled and fulfilling.

10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT 

Take time to unwrap the real you! Peeling away the layers will be difficult and time consuming but choosing God along this path will lead to the real you!!! It’s worth it! Please let me know how I can pray for you today!



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