7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence Jeremiah 17:7
As I sit here in the dark, with only gray-filtered light coming through my windows, I have uninterrupted time to reflect on me! The power outage symbolizes the lack of a clear picture of myself and also points out one that is shadowed by others perceptions and my unwillingness to allow the “real me” to shine through.
For years I was “mom” first even though I was working full-time. My identity revolved around carpooling one of my sons to their next practice, their next game or some other school activity. I was put together, confident and happy on the outside. My husband coached their basketball teams, volunteered at the school and our church and also appeared to have it all together. I would say 99% of the people who knew us believed we had the perfect everything.
My outsides did not match my insides – I was crumbling , broken and desperate to hold it all together so the myth of our lives would look perfect to everyone on the outside looking in. During this time, I completed my Masters in Reading Education, taught my first graders with everything I had, managed the day to day routines of our home and should have felt like I had it all. I went to church – sang in the choir and was a member of the church Pastoral Council- basically I did all the right things or did I?
My marriage was falling apart and the thing I needed more than anything else was not in my life. God was part of my life but He was not my center – the glue needed to hold me together. Keep in mind that Jesus has always been part of my life but He has not been my life! Wasted minutes and hours were spent perfecting this person that others only saw from the outside. God was waiting for me all this time and knew who I was intimately and still chose me to be His daughter. While God was passionately pursuing me, I was holding on tightly to the perceptions of others and how I could maintain those for the world to see. It was only when I let go and chose God as my center, that I became real. God never gave up on me – even after knowing me from the inside out, He still chose me!
1 You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me. Psalm 139:1
The words in this verse mean the world to me. My heart soars with confidence knowing that who I am matters – the good, the bad and the ugly!
Today I pray we all…
Make the choice for God to be our center – our anchor to hold onto through the calm and rough waters of our lives! Remember God chose you first!
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9
Let God take the lead – really take the lead in the dance of life. He will keep you two-steppin’ and when you gracefully sway into the dip, you won’t fall flat on your face.
Spend your energy on being the real you! I assure you that I am more real now in this last year than I have been my whole life. I am still put together, I have Godly confidence and the smile you see on my face is genuine because my relationship with God is joy-filled and fulfilling.
10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT
Take time to unwrap the real you! Peeling away the layers will be difficult and time consuming but choosing God along this path will lead to the real you!!! It’s worth it! Please let me know how I can pray for you today!
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Very encouraging blog, thank you for sharing! Please pray that I continue to put God in the center of my life and I have such freedom like you that I dearly want. Thank you:)
I will be praying for you! This has been such a process for me and one that continues to unfold each day. It’s never easy but allowing God to lead me has given me freedom to show people who I am and has also provided a true joy in my life that was absent for many years. Please stop back and let me know how you are doing!
Thank you for sharing your heart Mary…. Such beautiful writing.
And tHank you for stopping by my blog i think dreaming big is so important.
Have a blessed weekend
Thank you for your encouragement! May we both dream big and ask God to reveal who we really are as His daughters!
Beautiful Mary as always. What a testimony and appreciate you sharing. I too have seen how God can change us bit by bit into the vessel we should be. Loving these studies and loved reading your blog. Debbie W. (OBS Facebook Group Leader)
Thank you for faithfully stopping by and encouraging me! This wonderful support system has empowered me to Godly confidence and has given me the voice to unwrap past hurts.
that is an honest and needed post, thank you for sharing
Thank you for stopping by. Praying we all can be real with ourselves and unwrap the layers that we spend too much time surrounding ourselves with!
Mary, how beautifully put! Unwrapping is hard on us but we must do it to follow God’s plan for us and our gifts… Thanks so much for sharing with all of us! Cindy OBS Small Group Leader~
Thank you for the encouragement! Being vulnerable is difficult but knowing I have an encouraging support system around me makes it easier.
Thought I was. Was being the real me although now I am not so sure. I have desires now that I have had for a long time but I have tried and don’t think I have the talent to draw those beautiful pencil drawings I like so much, I have desires of the heart and I hope that God is the balance in my life. I have grown some since I started the on line bible study with What happens when women say yes to God. This study a confident heart is talking to me. some things work here but not as much draw to the Lord as in the other study. I don’t want to quit as I am sure in the long run there is something here for me and I want to have God’s word and works to show me. I am walking in trust and following him more. So I will wait on Him. For His plan for my life and what he wants to do in it.
First, thank you for stopping by. Second, I hope you stick with this study and consider others in the future. God has empowered me in this study and the reason is because I have surrendered the control to Him. This is not easy and it has taken me years to get to this point. Praying that God speaks directly into your heart and you hear His sweet voice. Blessings, Mary!
What you’ve described is actually being “played out” by the senior pastor of my church, Mary. His wife and he always projected this perfect veneer of a strong marriage, but they are revealing to our church that this is far from the truth. He’s taking a 3 month sabbatical or longer and getting his priorities back in order. I’m sad for this difficulty they must face, but also trusting that God is going to use this “brokenness” in huge ways in our church. Thanks for your vulnerability here and for the wise warning to all of us! I’m so glad you were able to see the need to make Jesus your life, not just a part of it! Hugs to you!
Thanks as always, Beth! I have experienced such freedom in being “real” and the healing that I have experienced has been immeasurable. Your encouragement means the world to me. Blessings and prayers for you today!