Did you know God never stops teaching you? Your day is filled with reminders. Take time to stop and look. God is the breeze on a hot and humid day, the butterfly that lands on the flower you were just admiring; and the last ray of light before the day fades.
Recently, God reminded me that “help” is more than a four-letter word.
Sweet text messages, snail mail, phone calls, and friends and family checking in were God’s way of saying I see you and I know you are struggling right now.
Being Dependent is Not a Weakness
It seems like only yesterday that my sons depended on me for so many things. Reality tells a different story. My grandchildren remind me of how my sons moved from dependence to independence. I hear their voices declaring “I can do it” or saying “No” to help when I ask. I’m immediately taken back to thirty years ago.
When did I forget that it’s okay to ask for help? How did I become so controlling that letting go is not an option?
This summer has been a dance of holding on and letting go. Not knowing and a glimmer of hope. Struggling to find what’s normal and slowly regaining my footing. Lots of questions and no answers.
I had to ask for help because I was so sick. I wasn’t able to drive for a few weeks and my energy level left me weak.
I learned unequivocally that “help” is more than a four-letter word.
The other lesson I am learning is that many people want to bless another person in any way they can. You don’t have to prove your strength or toughness by saying “no.”
You and I are not weak for saying “yes.” We are seen and known when others extend the offer of help.
The message through it all is that God is still good. YES and AMEN!
How Do You Know that God is Still Good?
Two months after my symptoms began and multiple tests and procedures later, the results came back negative over and over.
God did not provide a clear-cut “Yes” this is what is going on. He placed me in a space of waiting and told me to trust Him.
THAT WAS AND IS SO HARD!
Believe it or not, the Book of Jeremiah and the Psalms helped get me through. God’s truth is in His Word and He instills it in us when we spend time reading the stories God laid out for us.
In Jeremiah 33, God promises restoration to the city of Judah. Through Jeremiah, God says,
‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ Jeremiah 33:3, NIV
God will answer us. Jeremiah continues prophesying that the people will be in a fight with the Babylonians, or in my case, against the unknown. In verse 6, Jeremiah tells the people,
‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.
God is in the business of renewal and restoration. God promises answers even if it is “not yet.” He tells us multiple times it is okay to ask for help.
David cries out in multiple psalms for the Lord to hear him, rescue him, and care for him. While David pleads with God or when he laments, he balances out the requests with praise and worship.
We can do the same when our daily prayer sounds like “help.”
How Can We Say Yes to Help?
In my journey this summer, I let myself get to the point that saying “yes” was the only choice left. That’s not the best plan, but God knows my stubborn heart.
Once I began to say “yes” I felt a new freedom to ask for someone to get groceries, or to drive me to my doctors’ appointments. It was as if a switch flipped and in the releasing of my control, God put people in front of me who were ready to help.
“Help” is more than a four-letter word because it may look like:
- a person ready to step in at the right time
- a text message of encouragement
- The neighbor who calls to check in
- A bouquet delivered to your doorstep or your kids dropping off flowers just because
- Multiple cards delivered to my mailbox
If I didn’t know it at the beginning of the summer, I know without a doubt that “help” is more than a four-letter word.
It is God’s presence magnified through the people and actions listed above.
Help is more than a four-letter word when we allow others to come alongside us in our struggles because it blesses them as well as us. When "Help" is More than a Four Letter Word Click To TweetLet’s remember that God sees you and me in our joys and hardships. He understands what we are going through and never leaves our sides through it all.
We can count on God because He is good and His promises are true.
Empowering and equipping women to live life well one heart at a time!
Here is another article about asking the Lord for help. CLICK HERE.
1st photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Oh my, what a summer you’ve endured, Mary. SO appreciate your attitude of acceptance, your expressions of faith, and your grace to accept help. I’m quite sure it’s pride that gets in my way, when I should be asking for help. I’m as bad as a toddler, insisting I can do it myself! A friend once told me, “If you don’t allow me to bless you, you are stealing MY blessing” (Acts 20:35)! That applies to favors as much as it does gifts. So thank you for pointing out that being dependent is not a weakness!
Thank you, Nancy for your kind words. I love that you included the verse reference from Acts 20:35. I believe we are taking blessings from those around us frequently because of our pride or stubbornness. You blessed me by stopping by to read.
Aw, Mary … I’m sorry that you’ve been sick. It’s so hard when you know something is wrong and the doctors can’t figure it out. I hope you’re getting closer to answers, if you don’t already have them. I first read this post several days ago and have thinking about it a lot. I’m OK with accepting help, but have a harder time asking for it myself. I think God is using your words to remind me, yet again, that He will provide when the need arises, and that my asking for help is often part of that process.
I am getting closer to answers. If nothing else, I am beginning to feel better. It sounds like we both struggle with asking for help for ourselves. I know God has more to teach me through my journey this summer. Thank you for being here and leaving some encouragement.
Oh yes, He is good! It is hard to ask for help, especially when we’ve been on our own (empty-nesters etc) for a long time. I’m reminded, though, that by not asking for help, we also rob those who God’s called to help us, to use their God-given gifts. When we allow others to bless us with their help, we are being a blessing right back to them! I pray you are on the mend!
It is different dynamic when you’re an empty nester because if you are like me you want to show your independence. I bet your life feels different again since you just got married. I pray life is good for you!
Oh Mary, I’m sorry for this difficult season. And so grateful that God sent people into your life to love and care for you and lend a hand. We need to do life and illness in the company of others, don’t we. Your experience is one for us to remember and learn from.
I hope you find yourself a bit stronger, a bit more like yourself each day. If I lived closer, I’d bring you over some homemade chicken noodle soup. And give you a big hug.
Please give yourself plenty of grace and space in the healing process.
xo
Hi Linda! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. I am turning a corner and even though answers as to what is going on are not clear, God is with me and working in me. Homemade chicken noodle soup would be a blessing. I always pray we meet each other someday.
Oh Mary, I’m so sorry you’ve been sick. And it makes it all the more difficult when God doesn’t supply an answer as to what is wrong. I hope and pray you will fully recover. I’m so grateful though that He helped you to say “yes” to the help He sent. It’s hard to have to depend on others though, I know. I love that you point out how God sends so many reminders in nature and in the help of others that assures us He knows we’re struggling and He is with us! Thank you for all your encouragement! Love and blessings of health and peace to you!
I appreciate your prayers Trudy. They make a difference. It is hard to say “yes” to help when you are used to doing everything on your own. Thank you for recognizing that. I pray you are doing well.
Mary, I’m so sorry you’ve been so sick! There is something beautiful that happens when we say yes to help. It’s like God unlocks empty places in us that He wants to fill, but they can only be poured into when we respond yes. One of my sons was the one who always said (and still says) no to offers of help. “I do it.” seems to be his mantra. Hopefully soon he’ll begin to see the value of accepting help. I’m saying a prayer for your complete recovery, friend.
There is something beautiful that happens when we let those around us step into helping us in ways that bless them as much as blessing us. It has been a learning curve because I have had to be strong for so long. I pray your son and anyone else who struggles with asking for help learns the benefits of saying “yes” much sooner than I did. Thank you for being here.
I’ve been wondering…
So sorry to hear that you have been sick! I’m grateful for the support you have received, and hope you are on the mend!
Your post reminded me of my own kids and that toddler ineptness. “Self, self!” was one of the first words one of my sons uttered!
I kind of fell off of social media unexpectedly when I got sick. I still checked in with my people when I could. You definitely have experience in what it’s like to raise kids. The toddler phase is one that is very self-focused. Thanks for being here.