Life Lessons – What God is Teaching Me About Grief – Part 1
GRIEF:
is a brokenness as a result of a loss
is a raw, back-stabbing pain
is an aching emptiness
GRIEF:
can consume you
can blind side you
can be overcome!
As I travel through a new normal after the loss of my mom, my heart is broken but my soul opens for the peace and comfort that I can only receive fully from God. Words, cards, hugs and meals pour forth from friends and family the first few weeks and you are carried forward on the tide of these acts of kindness. You tell yourself that “I can do this!” because support is near. But life goes on and friends and family are swallowed up by their own daily routines and your new normal feels like the bottom fell out. I say this only as an awareness to understand that the process of grief is not over in a few short weeks. In fact, the process lingers for as long as it takes that person to heal. I have a wonderful support system but all should keep in mind that when you walk along side someone through grief be aware how you can sustain the support past the first several weeks.
Moving forward, I am learning that God, the Great Comforter and Healer, will walk this new path with me. I will never be alone because He loves me, yes me, with all His heart. He says when:
3 We give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is our Father Who shows us loving-kindness and our God Who gives us comfort. 4 He gives us comfort in all our troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
This truth will help sustain me through this walk called grief and healing. God is already teaching me through His words and the kindness of others.
What I have already learned:
God’s heart breaks as our heart shatters over the loss of a loved one
God’s tears mingle with ours and peace and comfort flow through the mix
God’s embrace pours love into our broken hearts and healing begins
when we accept that first hug
God reminds us that He is our comfort and His words are a salve to our broken hearts.
As sure as the sun rises and sets each day, God will provide comfort during this new normal. He promises us that we will never be alone. Here are some of God’s promises:
Lord, You have been the place of comfort for all people of all time. Psalm 90:1
Those who have sorrow are happy, because they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
May He give your hearts comfort and strength to say and do every good thing. Thessalonians 2:17
God gave these two things that cannot be changed and God cannot lie. We who have turned to Him can have great comfort knowing that He will do what He has promised. Hebrews 6:18
As I am moving forward along this path of uncertainty and emptiness over my loss, I will continue to share moments of this new journey. I am comforted not only by God but the friends and family who are walking along side me. I pray that my story will provide some insight and encouragement to anyone else who has suffered a devastating loss of any kind. Here are two final thoughts and words of wisdom that are sustaining me right now. The following words are from the Matt Redman song “Your Grace Finds Me”.
It’s there on a wedding day
There in the weeping by the graveside
There in the very breath we breathe
Your great grace
So I’m breathing in Your grace
And breathing out Your praise
I’m breathing in Your grace
Forever I’ll be
Click here to here to listen to the whole song! Beautiful song, beautiful grace-
God-breathed words!
And… God’s words…
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”2 Corinthians 12:9
Linking up this year with Ann Voskamp’s 2014 Joy Dare. Find the link up at A Holy Experience. Counting blessings daily will bless you immeasurably! JoyDare #79-99
- Back to school-teacher PD day-time for routine, support of my colleagues, shared conversation with adults
- A deep freeze day so no school, extra time to spend reading and writing, family checking in and providing support
- First day back at school-students overjoyed to see me, happy exhaustion at the end of the day, a visit with my dad
- Group work flowing and looking like group work at school,weather changes moving toward slightly warmer,baked tilapia-yum
- Friday-need I say more,the gift of having the best job ever even on days like today,temperatures in the 40s- woohoo
- Lunch with family at our favorite pizza place, delight in the form of laughter,lesson plans finished for the coming week
- Spending my birthday with a friend and at church, birthday blessings from all, the gift of another year of life
Blessed to be linking with:
I am so sorry for your loss dear Mary. I am stopping by from Testimony Tuesday…. Grief is a very hard process… I lost my mother when I was 20yrs old. It will be 21yrs this November… He walked me through this process…He held my hand.He was my shoulder to cry on any hour of the day or night… He is always there for you. He will never leave you nor forsake you… My prayers are with you… Blessings!
Your words are a calming salve for the emptiness that I feel over the loss of my mom. God reassures me daily that I am not alone in this walk and that my new normal is exactly that – delight will evolve out of the sadness! Thank you for stopping by!
I’m so glad you are feeling and receiving God’s comfort, Mary. For some odd reason right after my mom died I didn’t want God’s comfort … I wanted my mom’s. This feeling didn’t last long and God was so patient with me during that time–overwhelming me with His love and comfort once I was ready to receive it. I’m so glad you are processing grief as you “grieve,” Mary. Actually grief, as weird as it may sound, is one of my favorite subjects. I think that’s because it dovetails so nicely with forgiveness and it’s always been such a unique experience to any other I’ve had in life. My prayers are with you and my “virtual hugs” are wrapping around you my friend!
Beth, your hugs even though virtual are truly sweet. I have found that being able to process something and at the same time share it with others helps me even more. Writing is healing and having friends like you stop by even more so. Sometime we will have to discuss grief and forgiveness at greater depth. Blessings, Mary!
Mary, I am so sorry for yout loss. My father went home to Jesus just a couple of months ago. I’ve felt much better prepared for this loss than for some others in the past, but grieving is still a process.
You have done a good job describing the sense of isolation and sorrow that, at times, engulfs us. Sorrow is very isolating, even with good support.
I’m praying for you, this morning, that our God of all Comfort will wrap in His holy presence.
Thank you Joe! I pray for you also as you move forward without your dad. Such a difficult thing but God is the Great Comforter and I hold that precious truth close by. BLessings, Mary!
He collects our tears in a bottle – He knows the story of each tear! I hold off now on doing a lot right then – and have learned to wait for the time when everybody gets back to their routine – and suddenly, the griever is alone. That’s the hardest time. So sorry for your loss – but so glad God has the plan!
Beautiful thoughts! Thank you for stopping by and God’s plan is what gets me through each day. Blessings, Mary!
Thanks for sharing. Last year I lost my best friend’s mom, who had been like my second mom. I wasn’t able to attend the funeral (we live far away) and felt like I wasn’t able to grieve for other reasons. At odd moments, I’ll think of her and feel the tears come and I’ve had to tell myself that the grief is okay. As you said, it can be a long healing process. Blessings to you!
I have learned that the gift of time is so important when grieving. Any loss is difficult and I pray you continue to heal! Thank you for stopping by. Blessings, Mary!
Mary, I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is so hard. Grateful that you are seeing how God is moving even in the grief and that you continue to look for Him every step of the way. You are not alone and He has promised never to leave or forsake you. Or any of us, for that matter. It may be too much to bear alone but it is never too much for Him to handle. Thanks for sharing your heartache and for linking up to Testimony Tuesday. Much love!
Thank you Holly for your reminder of God’s love and willingness to be with us always. I pray that my heart continues to be open to all that God will teach me through this new normal. Blessings, my friend!
Mary,
Nice to meet you. I’m stopping over from Ann’s link up. I’m so sorry about the loss of your mom, and about the grief that you are going through. I can’t imagine. Thank you for the reminders that friends and family need to be mindful of continuing their support in the weeks, months, and years that follow. I have friends who walk this road with you too, friend. I’m sorry. Thanks for teaching me.
Respectfully, humbly,
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com
Blessed that you stopped by and humbled by your comforting words and support. May God teach all of us as we walk through our daily life and may we be open to a new normal and all it may bring. Blessings!
So glad I stopped by this evening! I loved the honesty of this post and the hope and strength that is arising in you in the midst of your healing… and your grief. I love the opening truths – the definitions of Grief… and I love that you ended it with how it can be overcome! Praying that for you, friend, as we count on!
Thank you for the kind words. God teaches all of us through every aspect of our lives and I pray that I continue to listen and learn through all the challenges and blessings that come my way. Blessings!