Today is our last week for the Enneagram series. Thank you for sticking with me. I hope you learned a lot about yourself and your people. I am thrilled to welcome Lisa Burgess, Lisa Notes as she unpacks her life as an Enneagram Five- The Investigator. Show her some love in the comments and let me know what you thought of the series.
When Resources are Limited
Unless you’re my daughter or husband, I don’t want to answer your phone call. Don’t take it personally.
When I do answer, know it takes great intention and energy on my part. It costs me.
I’m secretly hoping you can just text or email next time.
This is what it’s like being a Five.
Fives have a reputation as the antisocial number. It’s not that we don’t enjoy people though. We do. It’s just that people tire us out.
Stinginess is one of the Fives’ pitfalls. But not financial stinginess. Fives tend to be minimalists so they don’t need a lot of stuff. Many Fives are quite generous with money (Bill Gates is a Five).
Rather the stinginess of Fives (or avarice, as it is called in Enneagram literature) is about time. And emotion. And energy.
I have limits on how long I can function at a party before my battery is drained. (But leave me alone for a few hours and I’ll charge back up.)
With finite resources, Fives want to steward them well to avoid depletion. Including limiting our phone time.
Use Your Head
The resource that Fives love to stockpile the most is knowledge. We Fives love learning things. We can never know too much.
Needing to know is our blessing. But also our curse.
When my mother was in her early 60s, we noticed glitches in her memory. A few short years later, she no longer could call any of us by name.
Losing your memory is a nightmare for anyone. But for a Five? The prospect of dementia has become my great fear.
I learned early in life that it was through my head I would succeed. I wasn’t the pretty one. I lacked the skills to be the athletic one. So, unconsciously, I leaned in to be the smart one.
While everyone values knowledge, perhaps we Fives value it most. No wonder a Five is often called the Investigator. The core desire of a Five isn’t to find security (that belongs to Sixes) or to be oneself (that’s a Four thing): a Five desires to be capable. We fear being stupid.
Fives will do their research. We’ll look it up. If we can teach ourselves, we will. We don’t want to be a nuisance to you. We’ll search the grocery aisles with due diligence before we ask a clerk for help.
But trying to know it all and to be the most independent person in the room doesn’t always benefit us.
It can be our spiritual downfall.
Google or God?
The internet can break a Five. You never get to the end of it. It’s a bottomless pit of information.
My temptation is to trust Google more than I trust God. To trust WHAT I know more than WHO I know. Preferring to be self-sufficient runs counter to depending on God.
I spent my formative years memorizing all manners of facts and figures about the Bible. But knowing the Bible, while important, isn’t the same thing as knowing God.
The story of Nicodemus in the Bible mimics my own. He first meets Jesus with his head, to gather information and clarify concepts (John 3:1-21).
Jesus doesn’t reply to him with heady knowledge though. He answers with mystery (John 3:8). Heavenly things don’t always make sense to a Five.
But it’s the invitation we Fives need – let go of your need to know and trust the One who does know.
Engage the Heart and Body, too.
Nicodemus next appears in John 7:50-51, reminding his colleagues of their own law. Give a person (i.e., Jesus) a chance, he says. Listen before judging. It’s now personal to Nicodemus; it’s now about Jesus. His heart is engaged.
It took a church change to break my stronghold of a head-only religion. While I remain grateful for my foundation from the church of my youth, I needed to love God with all of me–mind, heart, and soul–instead of only my mind.
The last time we see Nicodemus is after Jesus’s crucifixion. Of all people, this skeptical, knowledge-guy is the one who shows up with myrrh and aloes to prepare Jesus for entombment (John 19:39-42).
I’ve had to learn to show up in my body, too. It doesn’t come easily to a Five. We may be quick to think with our heads, but we’re slow to move in our bodies.
It doesn’t come naturally to me to volunteer in our local soup kitchen without a plan. I prefer direction and assignments and lists that I can wrap my head around.
But I’m learning to show up there anyway. Just put my body in place, even when my heart is afraid and my knowledge is incomplete. As a Five, I have to practice trusting God. Sometimes he only provides missing pieces of knowledge AFTER I show up. When I put my body in position, he’ll handle the details.
The invitation for Enneagram Fives is to let go of the need to know and trust the One who does know. Join @LisaNotes as we wrap up the Enneagram series. #EnneaWhat #enneagramfive #TellHisStory #linkup Click To TweetKnow Who Knows
I don’t like bumping up against the unknown. A Five’s gift to the world is knowing things (Albert Einstein was probably a Five). Fives read the manuals, the placards at museum exhibits, and the footnotes in the books.
But I don’t have to know everything to be whole. It’s impossible.
I just need to know the one who does know it all. That’s my great comfort as a Five.
Just as I am not what I have (Fives tend to collect books more than most) and I am not what I feel (they say Fives are least in touch with their feelings but my Four wing disagrees), I also am not what I know.
Maybe I’ll end up with Alzheimer’s like my mother. I can’t know. I wonder about it often.
But even if one day I forget all the stockpiles of knowledge I’ve accumulated, I won’t be forgotten by the One who knows me.
That is enough. Iām glad God is never stingy with those he knows.
**I love Lisa’s words to us and the struggle she describes as she seeks knowledge as well as God and the tension that can cause.
I want to thank every one of the writers who contributed to making the EnneaWhat?? series such a success. I learned so much through it all and discovered some new ways to interact with my friends who claim a different number than my own. I have created a printable of the Good News of the Enneagram that is available to you as a download today. Click HERE to download a free printable. I’m praying it is exactly what you need in the season we are currently in.
Lisa Burgess looks for God in ordinary people and everyday moments. Then writes about where she finds him on her blog LisaNotes.com. She is a wife, a mom, and has recently become Granna to two beautiful granddaughters. She also shares on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.
Great post; “To trust WHAT I know more than WHO I know.”
Where ever we fall in the system, this pertains and speaks to all of us and our tendency to trust the failing flesh.
I too came from a legalistic background and it’s a fight still to strive with the heart and not the head.
Thanks for sharing, both of you!
Yep, that background was helpful in giving us a lot of head knowledge (and I am grateful for that part!). But for me it also promoted false security rather than dependence and humility (I beat you to the punch this time, Floyd!). š Thankfully God didn’t give up on us then and still hasn’t now.
Wow, Lisa … some of the details you included are so much like my husband it sounded like he had written them! I actually printed this post out (along with Wrenās from last week, which pretty much described me) and had him read both of them. He laughed out loud several times because he couldnāt believe how uncanny the similarities were! I appreciate this insight into your personality, but I might be even more grateful to learn more about him (thereās always something, even after 26 years of marriage). š Wonderful, wonderful series, Mary!
Isn’t it crazy how we can have so much in common with our fellow types? I’m sure I would relate very well to your husband, Lois. š
The Enneagram has really helped me understand my own husband better too. He’s a 7 (I think) and this quarantine is a lot harder on him than me. He’s currently outside talking to our neighbor (6 feet apart) while I’m peering from the window wanting him to come inside and stay away from other humans altogether. lol. Hope y’all are staying safe and sane in all this!
I can’t tell you how much you are in my own head right now! I’ve never read a personality assessment that was so dead on. How I’d love to meet you Lisa (for about an hour, maybe two, then you have to leave š)
Lol. You get me, Valerie! š Love your comment. The Enneagram has really hit home with me in more ways that I ever expected.
Maybe one day we can actually meet, just not likely in the next month or two. š
Thank you for this series, Mary. And for your detailed and knowledgeable description of the 5 Ennegram Type, Lisa. Bringing the mind and heart together can be a challenge and I see how much of a challenge for a 5! I’m glad to read that your strong-hold was broken and can experience God’s unconditional love!
Thank you, Lynn. It is amazing how God draws every personality type into his love, despite our *reasons* we have to resist it and do things on our own. His ways are always better!
So fun to get to know Lisa more in this way.
Thanks, Lauren. It’s been such a fun series to become better acquainted with others and all the types. I appreciate how Mary put it together!
I loved reading about what it is like to be a Five. My understanding has been heightened. Now, if only I can quit trying to push the fives in my life to be someone they are comfortable being. People fuel me! I had to learn the value of time alone. Now I have lots of it.
I appreciate your response, Maree! š Knowing the Enneagram numbers really does help improve relationships. One of my best friends is a Two, and now that we understand each other’s type, we understand each other more clearly.
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa….you nailed it. Or, should I say, you nailed me! Except for…I don’t read manuals because I think I already know it! LOL! I’m a 5w6. I so enjoyed this series, Mary. Really great and informative.
Ha. Love this, Susan. š My husband might agree with you that I think I already know it too.
My 6 wing has been coming out a lot stronger the past few weeks though. Praying you and hubby are staying safe. Blessings to you.
I so identify with socializing wearing us out, Lisa. It’s worse as chronic lung disease progressed, but I know I had a strong inclination of it before already. Even as a child, I loved doing research papers. š And I need to sometimes restrain myself from turning to google before to God. I’m still not certain what I am. A couple of the tests place Type 5 first. With a wing, 5w6 and 5w4 are very close. But looking at individual scores, 9 is higher than either 4 or 6. As I read the different posts or view resources both you and Mary have given to help, I I identify strongly with all 4 of those numbers. š
Mary, this has been such an interesting series. Thank you! Thank you, Lisa, for enlightening us with your series, too. Love and blessings of safety and peace to both of you!
It can be hard to decide on just one number. I envy those who read a description and immediately know which number they relate to. I still sometimes wonder if I’m another number myself, but when I look at other factors, I always come home to a 5.
We definitely have a lot in common so I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re a 5, but no need to pin yourself down. Keep exploring, Trudy. Whatever number you are, you are beautiful and a blessing to us out here in the blogging world!
Well, what do ya know, Lisa! I’m a 5 with 4 as my wing too! I’ve also got a lot of 1 in me, which explains my incessant need to get things and “be” right! Lol! Love this series that Mary is doing and love it even more when I get to see your smiling face shining at all of us here! Hugs to you both! Pinning and tweeting!
Yay! I’m glad we’re in this together, Beth. I’m in good company with you as my Enneagram twin. š I don’t know of any in-real-life friends who are this combination so I’m glad to have online friends who can relate to our obsessions. lol.
Good to see your words here, Lisa, and I loved reading your reflections on being a 5. I think I am a 6 with a 5 wing so I relate to a lot of this. I definitely seek knowledge but I think it’s really searching for security and I constantly have to remind myself that I need to find that in God.
Thanks for this series, Mary! It has been really interesting to learn more about the different numbers and how they play out in people’s lives.
I agree with you, Lesley, that what we’re each seeking is ultimately found in God. He’s so patient with us in our path leading up to that discovery (and I have to walk that path again and again).
My 6 wing has definitely been coming out a lot during this coronavirus crisis. I can jump to a what-if scenario very quickly these days. š More faith, Lord!
Lisa, thank you for sharing a little bit about you today. I am almost certain my husband Bill is an Enneagram 5. Your description fits him to a T. Not only did I get to get to know you better, your post helped me to understand the man I have lived with for almost 41 years a little bit better too. Sometimes, as an Enneagram 7, it is difficult for me to relate to his feelings. This is a wonderful resource for me.
That makes me happy, Laurie. And I am married to an Enneagram 7, so I’ve enjoyed learning more about you from your blog to help me understand MY husband. It’s been a hard combination during this crisis as I want to read everything about it and he wants to tune it out as much as he can. š
Oh Lisa, this was such a transparent post and I so appreciated all you shared. Sweet friend, I am so grateful that no matter our number, God loves, understands, and will never forget a single one of us! xo
As a Five, sometimes I cringe after I hit “send” on a post, wanting to crawl back in a corner from feeling too exposed. So I appreciate your encouragement, Joanne. I’m grateful, too, that the Lord knows each one of us in our own unique ways. We are all created by His hand in our own special ways for His reasons!
I love that you stressed that all your knowledge can never replace the One who knows us, through and through, Lisa. My dad died from Alzheimer’s, so there are definitely times when I worry I might get it down the road. Still, I’m trusting in God’s will for my life as the days unfold.
Blessings, my friend, and thanks for this fantastic post!
I appreciate your faith that no matter what unfolds, God has us! I’m sorry that you have Alzheimer’s in your family as well. I know we all will leave this earth for some reason, so my focus needs to remain on Jesus being present with us every step of the way. His knowledge is more than enough for everybody. Thanks, Martha.
This was so interesting. I wonder if my dad was a five. He loved knowledge and taught himself to do anything necessary to keep up a family and house. Years ago when my sister and I were discussing the five live languages my sister said our family had a sixth. This love of knowledge and discussing it with each other. And she is spot on. And I know we are not fives. But we live knowledge and discussing it.
This has been a wonderful series, Mary. Loved each post.
That’s so interesting, Theresa. I wonder, too, if my dad was a five. He was always learning things and was so curious about life. But then again, like your family, he could have just had a love for knowledge and been another number.
I like the notion of a 6th love language being love of knowledge. I would fit into that category quite well! š
I started this series thinking Iām a one (I actually took a test that I paid for, so Iām pretty sure itās true), but as I read this I thought, wait, maybe Iām a one with a five wingā-only thatās not possible š¤£š¤£. I can relate to your introverted tendencies. Thatās me. Text, donāt call. I like people, just in small dosesābut once every year or so Iāll go all -out and enjoy a crowd for hours and hours. š. But no matter my confusion. You are spot on when you says itās better to be known by our Creator than to know all the stuff.
I know what you mean, Anita, because I spent several months thinking I was a 1. They say that 1s and 5s are sometimes hard to distinguish between, and I agree. The deciding factor for me was I know I’m in the head triad, not the gut triad, which puts me as a 5, not a 1. I can see you operating more quickly than I do at getting out there in the world (I have to think about it first), so I see that 1 side in you!
Nonetheless, I still relate to almost everything else about a 1, so we do have a lot in common, friend. I love having you as a 1 being in charge of the #Write28Days because you do it with such perfection and reliability. š I’m grateful that God puts the right people in the right places.
Dear Mary and Lisa,
Thank you so much for this great series, and for opening your hearts to share with us all. It has been so fascinating to hear the different aspects of each personality, and to see how God works in each unique person. Even though I don’t think I am a 5, I do have similarities in my need to be self-sufficient and to understand “all the things.” I am so grateful that God meets us right in the center, and draws us into HIS fullness for how He created us. Blessings and love to both of you!
“They” say that we each have every number in us, so maybe the self-sufficiency aspect of a 5 is inherent in all of us. It starts around 2 years old, yes? Ha. My granddaughter turned 2 in January and I see her wanting to do more and more things by herself now. Which is good! But it has to be balanced.
What would we do without God meeting us “right in the center”? Thank you, Bettie, for your insights.
Lisa, I loved getting to know you better – I’ve known you “online” for some years now, and I knew of your love for learning – it shows up in all your posts! But I didn’t know about other facets of being a 5. If I’m not a 5, I must have a 5 wing! (I’ve just GOT to take time to take the assessment on the Enneagram.)
I loved what you said, “Sometimes he only provides missing pieces of knowledge AFTER I show up,” and I think this must be true of all of us whether we are a 5 or not. He values trust and obedience above all else!
I wonder how many years I’ve followed your blog, Jerralea! It’s funny how there are certain people that have been a consistent presence in my blogging years, and you are one of them. I am blessed by your writings.
Yes, regardless of our number, God wants us to trust and obey Him. And it can be a struggle at times. But thankfully He never gives up on us!
What a great insight into you, my friend! Thanks for your openness at sharing who you are and how God has impacted that as you have journeyed with Him. You have clearly also loved digging into and expanding your knowledge of this tool that is so popular at present.
I’m not always comfortable telling about the ugly sides of me. ha. But they’re visible anyway, so I might as well get them out in the open. God works in the light, right? Thanks for your consistent encouragement, Pam. Blessings to you!
I’ve very much enjoyed reading this series. The explanations have been great and Lisa, yours is definitely so enlightening as I know a couple of fives in my life. One thing is that I can at least empathize with how the social interactions are draining, even though I’m not a five from a personality standpoint. My health issues have made me have to be this way which was a big adjustment as a peacemaker. Thank you Mary, for sharing all these lovely guests with us!
Thanks, April. I’m sorry you have to deal with health issues; I’m sure that does make things more draining than normal. My daughter is a Peacemaker, too, and I know how drained she can be from social interactions as well, even when the body is young and at full health.
Hope the fives in your life aren’t too draining on you. š We can be, I apologize. lol.
The description of 5-ness is one of the reasons I struggled to identify my own number, because I sure do resonate with a lot of this. I think the difference between your hoarding of information and my obsession with information is motive, but we sure do have a lot in common, Lisa.
I agree with you, Michele. We both have a strong love for information and it shows in our reading habits. š I appreciate your ability to consistently share with us what you learn in such meaningful and personal ways.
I’ve been looking forward to this, Lisa–both because I’ve “known” you so long online and wanted to hear what you had to say, and because I suspect I might be a five. These descriptions resonated with me.
I also have suspected you might be a Five, Barbara, because we share a lot of traits in common. But only you can know for sure. I’ve appreciated having you as an online friend for many reasons, some of which include your thoroughness and your succinct ability to share knowledge, all things that a Five values. But also because of your strong faith.
Dear Lisa and Mary …
Wow. That’s all I can say right now. I’ll take your story with me today. Along with the stories of other writers in this series that I knew already as friends.
Fascinating …
Thanks, Linda. I’m so thankful that Mary put this series together for us. It really helps flesh out the Enneagram types when we can hear our friends share about it. Thank you for being one of our friends who has been listening!
Lisa and Mary, thank you for this post! THIS is my son. his need to do things on his own, to gain knowledge, and the value he places on his privacy. I knew he was a five (he did an Enneagram test last summer), but Lisa, the way you fleshed this out gave me so much insight into him! I was nodding my head throughout your post. Thank you for that.
Mary, I have truly enjoyed this series. Thanks for presenting it!
I’m glad this gave you the confirmation you needed about your son, Jeanne. I could very much relate to the things you said about him. What a good mom you are to figure this out about him!
Lisa & Mary,
Thanks for the glimpse behind the curtain on what makes a #5 tick. So interesting that God made His children so unique and different. I’ve really enjoyed the series, Mary. Great reading and very insightful. The “investigator” part of this #2 thoroughly enjoyed it!
Blessings,
Bev xx
I’m glad you can understand us 5s too, Bev. One of my best friends is a 2, and although we confound each other in some ways, we’re also a great match in other ways. God does know what He is doing. š
Thank you Lisa & Mary.
I do understand the phone calls & the socializing, I’m the same but it’s happened since chronic health issues!
Bless you,
Jennifer
Thanks, Jennifer. I can only imagine how much harder it would be to do phone socializing when you’re also dealing with chronic health issues. š You’re such a gracious person through it all; may God bless you richly for how you handle this with such faith.