And just like that, another month somehow slipped through my fingers. Thirty-one days marked the passage of time. A collection of experiences, memories, and beginnings. New things to like, and explore as well as time for God lessons when I least expect.
I am always amazed at the inspired beauty to begin or end my days and the touch of God’s Hands in each detail. October was no exception. There is something so glorious about October. It shows up in blue skies and bright sunshine as well as the overhang of gray and rain. The trees either begin to burst forth in all my favorite colors or show off in all their splendor. October does not disappoint as it paves the way for the holiday season.
This year, I found October to be soul–filling, community–building, and learning–centered. Not sure if those are all real words, but they describe the season so well. As always I am learning, loving, and leaning into so much. Join me as I share a bit more.
I am learning that you can teach an old dog new tricks! 🙂
I experienced a huge learning curve this month. A new job at the public library increased my brain capacity one-hundred fold. All that I thought I knew about the library became all I now know about serving the public in this way. The first few days of work left me breathless and filled with questions. Can I do this? Why am I feeling overwhelmed? Will I ever learn everything I need to know?
Four weeks later, I know so much more. I still have questions, but the overwhelming feelings are gone for the most part.
I am loving:
My women’s Bible study. My church is doing Priscilla Shirer’s study, One in a Million. Following the journey of the Israelites from Egypt to the Promised Land has led to some amazing discussions. We are currently diving into the time the Israelites spent in the wilderness.
What I am learning as I allow myself to go deeper into my own wilderness seasons leads me into a deeper understanding of my own journey.
Awaken by Priscilla Shirer. This is a 90 Day devotional where Priscilla shares how God whispered through Holy Spirit into her soul. I used to believe the best way to read a devotional was to begin and continue straight through to the end. Skipping a day was not an option. Now I give myself all the grace. The days I read Awaken feel like a fresh breath of Holy Spirit in my day.
Watching the change in seasons. Here in my part of the world the changing of the leaves is occurring slowly. Pockets of color end up causing me to gasp in surprise as I am driving or out walking.
I am leaning into:
Grace and forgiveness. The shape of family is one that seems to reinvent itself too often in my life. What I once proclaimed as family has shifted and looks unlike what I knew. The blessing in the refinement and reshaping is how God is in the brokenness. In the unfolding of the details, God’s presence is there.
The gift of my family’s story is how God protects, provides, and reveals His purpose. Just when we think we know “us”, God shifts the pieces and shows us the new arrangement of who we are. It is unlike any other refinement in that it’s not a quick fix and then you move on. The heart that beats in rhythm with God’s stumbles and falters when love is involved.
My family has moved from five to four. While the story is not mine completely to tell, I am writing a bit here especially for those who follow me on other social media outlets. My oldest son, who was married, is now single. The path of marriage took an unexpected turn. One that left us all open-mouthed and trying to catch our breath.
God is leading the journey of healing. All the grace that is necessary comes in waves as each of us learns this new dynamic. Forgiveness is on the tips of our tongues as we seek the words, understanding, and the willingness to take this step.
What I am learning in this new season is that family looks different for everyone. The number of people in the family unit is just that–a number. When family is lost, God is found. I am holding onto the gift of family and I proclaim that “This is us” because God deemed it so.
[Tweet “The blessing in refinement and reshaping is how God is in the brokenness. #TellHisStory”]
I love these monthly musings. Looking back allows me to catch a glimpse of how God showed up. I would love to hear what you learned, love, and leaned into in October. Please share in the comments.
Blessings,
P.S. I am on vacation next week so there will not be a post or a linkup. In the spirit of being fully present, I am stepping away. It is only for a week and then when I return to the blog on the 13th, a guest will be featured. Thank you for being such important members of this community.
Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash
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I’m so sorry to hear about your son, Mary. I so agree with you that family looks different for everyone. My family has changed in number so many times over the years. I hope you have a wonderful vacation, my friend! Congrats on your new job. Being around books is my happy place :). That would be right up my alley.
I love that you’re working in library! That’s what my mom does here at our school (she’s also a retired teacher).
What a month for you! A new job and change in the family dynamics. The great thing is you realize God is right there with you, smoothing the new paths and comforting all the hearts. God bless you in this new season!
Thank you for your kind words. October was quite a month, but I find most of them are these days. Blessed to have you here, Jerralea.
I am sorry about the change in your family. Thank you for being vulnerable and I really enjoyed your October recap. laurensparks.net
Thank you, Lauren! Being vulnerable allows God to smooth out the rough edges. Blessings!
A new job can sure stretch us! It’s quite amazing how much our brains can take in, remember, learn. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve taken on this position Mary, not shying away from learning new things. May your family continue to be in God’s grace as it finds it’s new ‘normal’ so to speak! It can be a grieving time too, like any loss of relationship. But like you mention… God is always in the midst of it all and can be found! Amen!
I love new challenges and am pretty proud of how I went after this job. The loss of a relationship is a time for grieving. I found myself replaying memories just as I have done when my parents passed. I am rejoicing that God is always at the center of our messiness and joy.
What a lovely month you’ve had! Even in the hard places, you’ve pressed in and sought the Holy Spirit. Such a beautiful thing for our days (and our wilderness seasons).
I am so blessed. God is in the hard and the easy and it is good. May we all find Holy Spirit awakenings in our everyday struggles and joy. Blessings!
I am so sorry about the loss of your son’s marriage. That is so sad. I do delight, however, to read of your new job at the library, because that sounds like something I would love! What city do you live in?
Awaken sounds like something I would like. Will check it out for sure.
Loss is always sad, but God is still the center of my family and that is the gift. I could see you working at a library. It would be even more fun if it was with me! 🙂 I love in Cincinnati. Not close enough to you. Please let me know if you end up checking out Awaken. Blessings to you!
Oh Mary, I am continuing to keep you in my prayers as your family finds solid ground after all the changes. May all of you feel His arms around you. Thank you for sharing from your Mama heart. Even though the story is mostly not yours, those ones we love do write their words on our hearts, don’t they? I pray that you have a beautiful week of refreshing on your vacation! Blessings to you!
You are so sweet to pray for my family. It makes all the difference when friends and family support us in our difficult times. I appreciate what you said about how our loved ones write their words on our hearts. That is so true. I am looking forward to a week of vacation with some dear friends. Blessings and hugs!
Mary,
Praying for your son and for your family as you come to grips with and grieve the loss. As moms, our hearts break for our kids no matter their age or maturity. I’m sure you are excelling in your new job and enjoying the new challenge. Always enjoy your musings, but so sorry for your loss.
Blessings and Prayers,
Bev xo
You’re right – being a mom means getting our hearts broken even when our kids are grown adults. I know you understand this. The new job is a good challenge. I’m blessed to have this opportunity. Thank you for being here sweet friend.
Mary, I am so sorry to read about your family’s change. Losing a family member for any reason is painful. You will be in my prayers. Grace and forgiveness are good to lean into in these situations.
Grace and forgiveness will get us through. God is so good to surround us with His love at all times too. Thank you for being here and for praying for my family.
Hi Mary! Thank you for sharing your story of what family looks like and finding God in the midst of it. I’m praying for you, your son and the rest of your family. May God bless all of you during this season of life.
P.S. One in a Million sounds like a wonderful Bible Study. I’m so glad you pointed us to it.
Thank you for your prayers. They are so appreciated. I think you would really like One in a Million. Priscilla is a gifted Bible teacher and taking us through Exodus and wilderness season has been an amazing journey.
Mary, such a beautiful post. I enjoy your end of month musing posts. 🙂 And this:
“The blessing in the refinement and reshaping is how God is in the brokenness. In the unfolding of the details, God’s presence is there.”
This spoke to me. I am beyond thankful that God is right in it with me when those hard seasons come, when I am stretched and humbled and broken. There’s so much hope in your words, my friend!
I am thankful too that the God who created me is never distant from me. He is always there in every detail. This is what gets me through.
I am also thankful for you and how you encourage me so well. Love you, friend!
Oh Mary, I’m so sorry about your family struggles. Thank you for sharing this. I know by experience how devastating it can be when a son’s marriage takes an unexpected turn. I hope and pray God will heal each of you.
On another note, I’m so proud of you for navigating and overcoming the learning curve of your new job. With technology involved, things are so different, aren’t they?
Have a time of renewal and healing next week! Love and hugs to you!
It is an experience I wish no one had to go through. I feel it is much more difficult watching your child go through it.
Than you for cheering me on and encouraging me for my new job. It is an adjustment but a good one. Love and hugs to you too.
Have a great vacation, working at a library might have been a dream job for me. Prayers for your son and family. He will open the right doors in time.
I worked at my college library while going to school, but now get the experience of the public library. Thank you for your prayers.
Dear Mary … I am so sorry for this great loss, this huge grief. Sometimes there are no words.
So much of what turns our lives upside down is not our story to tell.
Bless you in this hard place, friend. Take all the time you need …
I agree that words are hard to express and not always needed in our brokenness. I think it is just showing up and being there for the people who are going through a difficult time. You are such a dear to do that for me.
Thank you for your encouragement.
Mary, I am so sorry for this change in your family. Praying for you all, especially your son, as these changes never occur without pain. May God be ever present, and His grace in abundance to you all. Blessings!
I am praying for God’s healing in the middle of this new dynamic. God is so good and we already see Him working in our lives.
I’m so sorry to hear of the marriage break-up. My own parents were divorced when I was 15. It was one of the most painful times of my life, but God used it. I pray for His grace in your family during this time.
I was afraid we weren’t going to get much color here, but it’s finally coming in. Glorious!
Thank you for your prayers. I find I still want to protect my grown sons from any heartache. It’s a natural instinct. I hope you see some color before the leaves disappear.
Thanks for sharing so much of your heart and the way you have modeled such grace in your words and attitude about the change in family. And congrats on the new transition at the library. Dr. Daniel Amen would say all that new learning is very good for the brain cells!
October is my favorite time of year, but the very long and lingering hot summer has resulted in very little color in our neck of the woods in NE Ohio and now some of the leaves are dropping in the wind and rain without a change in color. I am still hoping that in the next week some of the gorgeous colors will peak out before they are all strewn about the lawn.
You’re welcome, Pam! In this middle of this new normal, all I know is how God always forgives and extends grace to those who need it most. I pray as we work through this we find the strength to do the same.
We finally have some Fall color here. I caught a few glimpses today and it made me happy. It’s supposed to rain a lot the next few days so we might lose all the rest of our leaves too. I am in Southwest Ohio so we are kind of neighbors. 🙂
Change is so hard especially through divorce. Praying for your oldest son. Love your monthly musing posts.
Change is very hard. Loss is real and messy and I know you understand. This is a different kind of loss than what you have been going through. Thank you for being so kind and encouraging.
Oh, Mary, my heart is broken for you in the midst of this huge numerical change. (One is a very big number in families.) I will be praying for you, for your people, for a path toward forgiveness, and for a new wholeness.
Numbers come and go but the blessing of God in the middle of the mess never goes away. I appreciate your prayers and how you encourage me so well. You are a treasure, friend!