I woke up the other morning with thoughts of letting go while at the same time holding on. As I lay in bed, I began to talk to God. Keep in mind the conversation was one-sided until I paused. God used the pause as an opening to show me what it looks like to be me.
Let me just clear my throat here. I’m perfectly content to pour out my heart to God, but when He returns the favor… well? I’m still processing.
I am a closet control freak. There is a part of me that loves details and a bigger part that wants the plan laid out in chronological order with contingencies for what to do if the plan derails. I hold on so tight somedays that I wonder at the end of the day why I am so tense.
If you visit here often or are new to this lovely community, I shared since January that this is my year of surrender. God knows this too and is quick to provide opportunities to learn this lesson. All I can say is that this year has been one of the best and one of the hardest. My life looks like a volleyball game. Set, hit, slam, serve and start all over again.
When I was lost in my thoughts the other morning, God began to teach me how far I’ve come and how far I need to go to grasp the truth of His promises. The bottom line is that God is willing to join me on the other side of the net as we volley back and forth. But He holds the gift of what it looks like to step out of the game to live a different life than what I’ve always known.
The Lord confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.
My eyes are ever on the Lord,
for only he will release my feet from the snare. Psalm 25:14-15
What Volleyball Taught Me
God never drops the ball. He catches our joy, distress, grief, frustration, and stress and guards it with His love and grace.
As I serve the ball, God is cheering me on with words like “good job”, “you can do this”, and “way to let go”. God is always on the other side of the net reminding us of our worth, gifts, and enough-ness.
It’s okay to miss the ball. I actually played a little volleyball in my younger days. Trust me there were more times than not I missed the ball. God still loves you and me when this happens. It’s part of our imperfect humanness and it’s exactly how God designed us.
When the ball is released, God is in control of where it goes. Just like with our lives, God is present and in control 24/7. There is nothing He doesn’t know about us. The details that I am so concerned about are ones that God cares about more than I ever will.
Just reading through the lessons above, frees up space in my controlling nature. What I know is if God cares more about it than I do, than the process of surrendering is in the best Hands possible. How does this make you feel?
A way that looks like working from a place of peace and rest. The hard work we believe is needed to achieve everything instead looks like trust in God.
Jennifer Dukes Lee, in her soon-to-be-released book, It’s All Under Control, says it like this:
I read once that surrender is what happens when God hands you a blank piece of paper with a space for you to sign your name at the bottom and then hand it back to him to fill in as he wills. Talk about frightening!
Wow! I don’t know about you, but those words preach. So today let’s reflect on what it looks like to sign our life away to God knowing that even though the thought is frightening, He is in control. Will you step out of the volleyball game with me and look at life through new eyes instead of the same old, same old?
P.S. Jennifer Dukes Lee book is exactly what I need in my current life. She writes from a place of knowing because she is/was a control freak just like me! 🙂 It’s All Under Control releases on September 18 along with a 6-week Bible study. You can preorder HERE and then head HERE to grab your preorder bonuses.
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